KnitWrite

2012 Plans

2012-01-07T03:07:00.003-06:00

Things I want to do:

this month:
- go bowling. dunno why, been thinking about it for two weeks now.
- take the train downtown & walk around the lakefront at night before all the holiday lights come down, on one of these halfway-warm nights.
- knit with Grandma
- get my work shoes/heels fixed
- return books to Adam & Sam
- spend real time with my friends

this year:
- get my motorcycle license
- learn how to build something electronic/mechanical
- regain my confidence in programming
- fully wash, detail & vacuum the car
- put Navy sticker on the back window
- repair the stack of clothes that need sewing

eventually:
- go out west to really see the stars
- knit myself a sweater
- second ear piercing
- several road trips with different people
- get a tattoo of a couple lego bricks
- get a tattoo of orion on my arm

Photos

2011-08-21T17:11:00.000-05:00

Cloud

2011-05-30T21:54:00.009-05:00

Caron Simply Soft - White
Size 5 dpns (I used 4 of the 5" ones)
Fluff for stuffing

Gauge not important, just don't let the stuffing go through.

CO 9, divide over 3 dpns
*kfb*
*k*
*k1, kfb*
stst for 1 1/2" - 2"
*k1, k2tog*
*k*
*k2tog*
Stuff
cut yarn, leaving long tail (like 16-20")
draw through rem sts, pull tight & secure/knot.
This is the monster pill, not the cloud.

Now is the odd part. With the tail threaded to a yarn needle, skim just below the knit surface, catching the backs of most sts in the path, pulling tight before changing direction. This should force pulls and puckers and lumps to form, turning the pill into a cloud. It may take a little experimentation; it is all 'freehand', after all.

I had enough left of a tail to make the hanging loop, once I wove the yarn to the point I designated 'Top' of my cloud.

Toad

2011-05-08T20:05:00.028-05:00

Toad is a character belonging to Nintendo

I will update this post as I develop the pattern.

size 3 & 5 dpns (5),
Red Heart Super Saver in green, white, nude/tan, yellow, and brown

BODY
- using size 3s & white
co 9, divide over 3 dpn
--Increases--
R1: *kfb*
R2: knit
R3: *k1, kfb*
R4: knit
R5: *k2, kfb*
R6: knit
R7: *k3, kfb*
R8: knit
R9: *k4 kfb*
10: knit
11: *k5 kfb*
12: knit
13: *k6, kfb*
14: knit
This is where I changed to my circ (16")
Stst for 22 rows
--Decreases--
R1: *k6, k2tog*
R2: knit
Change to nude/tan
R3: knit
R4: knit
R5: knit
R6: *k5, k2tog*
R7-10: knit
11: *k4, k2tog*
This is where I changed back to dpns.
12-15: knit
16: *k3, k2tog*
17: *k2, k2tog*
18: *k1, k2tog*
19: k2tog (should be back to 9 sts)
Break yarn leaving LONG tail, thread through rem sts, cinch, & secure, leaving tail hanging.
--------------------------------------------------

EACH FOOT MAKE TWO
- using size 5s & brown

CO 9, div over 3 & join
R1: kfb each
R2: k all
R3: k1, kfb around
R4: k all
R5: k all
R6: k2, kfb around
k all for ~2"
R1: k2, k2tog around
R2: k all
R3: k all
R4: k1, k2tog around
R5: k all
R6: k2tog each
Break yarn leaving LONG tail, thread through rem sts, cinch, & secure, leaving tail hanging.
--------------------------------------------------

Can I survive the last week?

2011-04-25T00:42:00.002-05:00

401
If I turn in this last assignment for late credit, and do okay on the final, then I will pass and be okay.

446
Goal: Get as much turned in & the final done well, then hope for the best.

-----

287
Half our grades still aren't apparently factored in yet, and I have a B-. If I do okay on the exam, I should be okay in the class, but I don't know.

478
No. Clue. Get this late midterm in, write well for the final paper, hopefully be okay.

-----

280
Again, do well on the final, get this last assignment in, and I should be okay. Not too worried here because I managed to stay on top of this one.

460
I need to do so many old assignments and write a 10page research paper. This workload scares me, but the teacher is rather lenient so I'm not so inclined to be pressured about it. Which could be bad.

-----
-----

Well, this could still be worse. Not much, but it could be worse.

Nerd / Geek / Dork

2011-03-04T03:58:00.006-06:00

I spent a long time identifying myself as a Band Geek, Choir Nerd, and Theatre Nerd.

I now more accurately notate Knitting Nerd and Astronomy Nerd on my list. I still remember all the random facts and proper score order of most extant instruments used in public school bands, some orchestras, most choirs, and other various music-making groups. I still consider myself a Techie of the Theatre - Heck, I'm a student Crew Chief. But I am no longer currently involved with any music groups, and being a Band Geek only gets you so far in the world. Sooner or later it doesn't matter if you played flute, oboe, or trumpet, or violin or percussion, or waved your arms or tossed flags or rifles.

I love some science fiction, and some fantasy.
- McCaffrey's dragons will always have a place in my heart, even if I feel the Pern novels got a little carried away.
- I have a poster of The Princess Bride and wish I could better remember the quotes for everyday use.
- I still think about Otherland and get mad at the ending of book 3 of 4, despite reading it I-don't-remember-how-many years ago.
- My newest love is Ender's Game,
- Yet The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy felt like an unrewarding waste of my time.

I would rather knit or crochet you a book, tv, or game character than something for myself, and sometimes I would rather sit and knit with a movie on (action, sci-fi, adventure, romantic comedy, drama, whatever - just not thriller) than build a new deck to play in Magic:tG(R).

But the stars! Aren't they fantastic? Look up once in a while, I can show you the constellations that are out and even tell you some of the stories behind the pictures you're supposed to see, and some of the details like the Demon-Star.

TV shows? There are a few I can follow.
- Battlestar Galactica, like Pern, kept going too long.
- But I am excited for the next Doctor Who episode.
- Star Wars? Good times, good memories.
- Star Trek? Never got into it.
- Stargate? Ask my brother.

Speaking of my brother, let's chat video games.
I will race you any day in most Mario Karts, but you can keep the zombies, Wii Sports, and Mario Partys. And I'd rather watch you play a Halo: Reach Firefight with your best friend than be the inexperienced wanderer AKA "kill fodder" when you're both on a 'need to kill something' streak, but let's play a round of Halo 2 next time. And I love the soundtrack of the original Halo more than I love the 8-bit/midi Mario themes.

While I can make most jammed printers work, usually talk the computer into doing what I want, code in java and a few smaller languages, I don't really know Lisp, Unix, or C, have never built a computer from scratch, and don't yet have the motivation to do so.

And sometimes all I want is to blow someone up with a plasma to the shoulder, to pull off that combo with my new rare, to curl up with my warm laptop and read the next installment of my web-comics, speculate which galaxy was the one far, far away, read a math book for fun, or take out a pack of wolves with my rogue's dual bracer-mounted, cartridge-loaded, enemy-seeking crossbows and d20s.
Just let me finish this row, first.

more Knitting pics

2011-02-11T21:46:00.004-06:00

My tube top from A's knitting loom

My scarf from the color photo class semester

Knitting Pics

2011-02-10T19:19:00.005-06:00

Just done & photographed:
1.

2.

3.

WIPs
1.

2.

What I Learned From College - Round 1

2010-12-15T00:16:00.003-06:00

- how to segue from someone's presentation into my own
- how to compare and contrast readings I barely understand
- how to write 4 1/2 pages in 6 hours
- that I have no idea where I will end up in five years, even if I've planned out the next twenty
- that random kid from your seminar can become your best friend
- the rest of said seminar class you may never see again
- teachers get stressed out, too
- extra effort gets you extras, like references or lenient grading
- there are an infinite number of opportunities, if you only look
- there is always someone who will give you a hug; sometimes you have to ask
- people think and live and see differently
- sometimes you need Mom or Dad
- some people in college don't belong in college
- your roommate may love you or hate you
- there is a world outside your campus, even if you never leave it
- teachers want to you to succeed
- some will help more than others
- asking questions gets you answers
- asking the right person the right questions gets you the best answers
- to remain sane, don't procrastinate too much, remember to eat and sleep, and say "Hi!" to a friendly face everyday
- childish pleasures are stress-relieving
- hugs fix hearts and minds

Strike

2010-11-15T00:53:00.002-06:00

The sealing tape was taken up, the painted panels stacked away, the long-hidden hardwood revealed again.

"I'm so happy to see my wood floor again. It's so much easier to sweep!" she bubbled.

"But it's like it's all ending now; it's gone," he said.

"Well, yeah. That's how it goes."

"And it's over. I'm not so sure I want it to be over."

"Same here. But look at that floor. We turned it into some other place. Now it's back to normal, and just think what we can do with it next. Yes, this one's gone, but look at what it can be."

He thought about that, and she continued.

"It's a bare stage. Now it's about the potential it has for the next show."

"I like that way of thinking about it. Potential..."

"Exactly."

Letters to my New Friend

2010-07-19T01:05:00.001-05:00

Just comments I've thought, and might get around to saying.
To my New Friend:
Hi :)
You do wonders for my self-esteem, reminding me it's okay to not be figured out yet. And there are so many things I can already see you know that I have wanted to learn; will you stick around a little while and teach me? I guess the question is how to get you near enough to actually spend a good deal of time together in the first place...
I hate having to close the messenger after we finish chatting for the night. It's so easy to talk to you and flirt and chat -- maybe because it's over text, and I have less trouble censoring what I say than what I type. But you make me laugh, constantly, and I feel so relaxed while we type... We say goodnight and I want to curl up smiling and fall asleep that way, maybe even leaning against you. If that's okay...
-just me

Letters to my Lunch Buddy

2010-07-19T01:04:00.002-05:00

Just comments I've thought, and might get around to saying.
To my Lunch Buddy:
Hi!
So I really wanted to check and see if we could still do lunches this semester. Everything else is changing and I was hoping that there would be something stable and continuing and, well, you're it :) Because I miss talking to you over crappy school food. And because it's easy to flirt and chat and be me with you. You think I'm so great, and I'll selfishly admit I like it. I know I'm no better than you are, but you still look up to me occasionally - not down on me, not past me or through me - but most of the time AT me. I miss that in conversation. Text chats just aren't the same.
See you at lunch! :)
-me

Letters to my Close Friend

2010-07-19T01:02:00.001-05:00

Just comments I've thought, and might get around to saying.
To my Close Friend & Neighbor:
Hey you,
I don't know what else to call you. Best friend, brother, and neighbor are all too far to one side or another.. maybe just 'friend'. But you aren't really just a friend, you've let me be close, close enough to make me wonder at times.
I'm immensely glad that talking to you is easier. Not sure why, but it is; we'll be closer for it. Maybe, I think you're coming to me because she's gone-- I think we're pulling closer because she isn't as securely between us anymore. It was easy to be easy with you the other day. Don't know if it should be, with what I know of semester's end and summer's beginning, but I don't really want to know anymore than that. We talked comfortably about how we've (practically) lived together; we've just gotten that close over the year. It's kind of astonishing how well we know random things about each other - like habits... - yet are just now beginning to understand our reasoning.
So now we're closer than we were, and I hope we can stay comfortable enough to keep really talking. I like it. We aren't really flirting...the words are the same, and it's similar banter, though the tone isn't nearly so lighthearted.
At any rate, I miss you this summer. I know you miss me (even if you don't say so and divert the topic) because when we talk, we actually talk and are comfortable chatting and poking fun and being serious. And you came to give me a hug, knowing I'd want one.
-Missy PinkSocks

Letters to my Old Friend

2010-07-19T01:00:00.003-05:00

Just comments I've thought, and might get around to saying.

To my Old Friend:
You've been there to chat with me at any point - excited bubbling to despondent whining and everything in between. And I'm there when you need me for any of them, too. But you know that. And you have some of the best hugs. Which you also know. And anything else I would say you already know and would say back to me. I guess that's what happens when you've grown up together, even if the friendship is only for half that time.
-maren/mirset

Letters to my Ex

2010-07-07T22:46:00.008-05:00

Just comments I've thought, and might get around to saying.

To my Ex:
Hey you.
You said we can't really continue, but not that we're done. So I say, we're done. You owe me a hug for waiting, so I will collect, but I think that then I will be moving on and not looking back. It is hard enough to find something to say to respond to your note; I've already moved on and have forgotten you somewhat. It just happened as we grew apart. Now it's awkward... and I have to figure out what to do or say when people ask me about you. So instead of explaining, I just answer them honestly and say we don't communicate much. When you get back, I can say we realized that it wasn't going to work. And everyone will understand, and be less pitying then. I don't want their pity. I want them to realize I'm growing up, and you are too, and we have other goals and dreams to follow in different directions. And while I appreciate all I have learned from you, and will miss how you made me feel, I still have to figure out how to give back all these hoodies without it being too awkward. Or what to do with my box of things from you...
Once yours,
-Me

Collection of Citizen Science Projects

2010-06-30T20:00:00.004-05:00

We've compiled a list of citizen science programs:

Facebook group: NASA SEDL Focus Group

Science for Citizens
Citizen Sky
Citizen Innovators
NASA Citizen Scientists
Moon Zoo

States Visited

2010-06-05T18:25:00.001-05:00

visited 25 states (50%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

Knit Therapy

2010-05-12T02:34:00.002-05:00

Lily Sugar 'n' Cream, American Stripes.
Size 7 bamboo needles, 7" length.
Grandmother's Favorite Dishcloth Pattern.

I don't even need the light of my laptop to keep going. *k2, yo, k to end* until 44 sts. I will be surprised in the morning, since the yarn is striping while I can't see it.

Except I think I missed a yo... It definitely looks like it when I hold it up in front of the screen in silhouette. Oops. Maybe I should knit not in the dark. Oh well.

Washcloth 1/3 - for my Grandmothers: Jill and Sandie and Margie.
Yes I have three Grandmothers.
I'm just that special.

Reading & Knitting

2010-05-05T21:05:00.004-05:00

I'm trying to figure out how to knit and read. The only way I've found to manage it is if the book is a hardcover, with a hairbrush or the like spread across the pages to hold the book open flat on the table as I knit. This method, though it works decently for The Wheel of Time series, does not, in fact, work at all for the typical sci-fi/fantasy paperback.

As for recorded books, however much I appreciate a good storytelling, I don't like having 700 page novels read to me. It takes too long for the reader to get through the words; when I read, I seem to just absorb the meanings of the sequence of symbols rather than read each word. (Admittedly, this does lead to thinking I've read some interesting things, only to reread and find it wasn't what I was supposed to comprehend.)
Plus, the genius of knitting is the meditative state I can easily reach when working. This rather easily leaves me to my thoughts, and I will tune out the world around me. I get that same trance when reading, and the only reason they work together is because I pay attention to what my hands and eyes are doing: one pair knits, the other reads. Through reading I learned early to tune out my ears--rather, to get lost in the sounds, so that came easily with knitting. The easier it is to meditate while knitting, the more danger that spells for my grades, since I stop listening to what is around, i.e. lectures. That does not bode well for next year, since the number of classes I knit in has increased over my years knitting...

My Favorite Poems

2010-04-25T13:07:00.008-05:00

Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda

by Shel Silverstein

How Did You Die?

by Edmund Vance Cook

Chat with the Magic 8-Ball I

2010-01-15T09:55:00.003-06:00

Is it a good idea to tell -person- about -something-?
[It is decidedly so]

Really?
[Most likely]

IS it really?
[As I see it, yes]

Way to have conviction, 8-Ball. Don't you have faith in yourself?
[Better not tell you now]

Assumptions

2009-12-27T16:02:00.002-06:00

When you ASSUME, you make an ASS out of U and ME. Stop assuming, and ask.
There's more than one way to skin a cat.
If you really know, then it is not an assumption. But by trying to prove your knowledge of what I'm talking about, when you really don't know, you prove your lack of knowledge. Then my corrections may become awkward, and the entire situation a mess.
Why assume? Is there really only one path of thought that can be followed from a starting concept?

"I'm studying film." "Oh, so you want to be a director?" "No..."

"I'm in theatre." "Actor!" "No, Techie." "Techie????" "Yeah, Techie. Builder, painter, creator. The ones who really make the magic."

"I want to work on telescopes." "To be an astrologist?" "I think you mean astronomer. Astrologist you'd know with horoscopes. They work with the constellations and birthdays to find personality traits and life predictions..." "Is there really a need for astronomers?" "I'll find it. I want to work on telescopes." "...work for NASA..." "No, build telescopes." "...design them..." "NO, build them."

Is it so difficult to imagine that someone -wants- to be the secretary, and not the CEO? or that people are okay with being the technician who repairs the computers, not the genius programmer who makes the applications the world uses? Or the construction workers who use tools and machines to build the houses, not the designing architect who drew up the blueprints, or the contractor or supervisor? the sales associate, not the manager?

Health & Healing: Belonging

2009-12-15T16:33:00.005-06:00

Sometime during high school I debated the concepts of being alone and being lonely. These resulted from my examination of the definitions and associated connotations:

Solitude
There is a solitude found
in the high, snow-covered peaks
of a mountain range
or down a quiet street-
where a teen walks, lost in thought,
the solitude made complete
by the gently falling snow
that mutes everything:
sounds, corners, colors.
Except, makes footsteps loud
enunciating the physical loneliness.
And yet, only physical loneliness
because the mind can then more easily wander
and explore daydreams and ideas
that he dares not look at when others are around
to keep his thoughts and worries from showing.

Alone
Solitude is different from being alone
If you are by yourself and thinking
That you are in a place that is safe from the rest of the world
But you know of someone who is waiting with open arms
To welcome you back to the real world,
Then you have enjoyed the moment's solitude
For you are not alone.

If you are in your own little world
The tiny corner of the universe where you are safe from everyone
And the only ones that would welcome you back to safety
Have gone,
Then you are truly alone.

Humans, especially as a society, are community based. We need someone to care for us, about us, and that we are all right. We need someone to care for and about, to worry over and support. We thrive on the sense of connection to others provided by working together toward a common goal. Why else do we search for the perfect partner? Or celebrate en masse? A partner is there to support us and for us to support them. They are a permanent best friend who promises to be that and more. This promise and other occasions prompt celebration by those who care for the parties involved, allowing everyone tied together by this union to feel the network of the support system established via the connections between people. Anyone who can sense this web can feel the power of the emotional ties, if they open their hearts to it. Once open to it, it is not a far step to take to become a part of it, knotting into the interconnected strands.
We need to belong.

Always Someone
There are times when
All you need to know
That someone cares.

When life picks you up
—Then drops you.
Helps you up
—Then knocks you over.
And kicks you while you’re down

Just know someone is always there.
You may not know them
—Or who they are,
They may not reveal it
—Until the right time,
It may come from someone
Whom you never thought would,
But someone—always—will care.

You are my friend;
I’m watching out for you.
So find something to smile about
Because
There’s always Something;
You just gotta find it.
A memory, an idea, a thought,
Or just the knowledge we’re friends.

Have a hug from me to you.
Smile.

I can understand how people turn to others for backup. That is what I do. I can also understand that God is a persona to whom others go for a ‘reset point,’ if you will.
This is who I go to when I can’t take what life throws at me any more and need to be rebalanced to deal with it more. Preferably with more strength and patience and confidence in myself, and this is who provides me with it. When I need it they let me release everything and collapse with the relief, then can inflate me again back to my normal size so I can go back out and face the world again.

I just have trouble seeing God – by that name or label – as the one for me to go to. I am much more at ease with someone tangible, whose answers I can clearly understand or easily receive clarification for, or who can give me a hug to help rebuild my self-esteem, since I understand comforting touch as well as if not better than reassuring words.

With my grandmother having spent decades working in Ministry (she is currently a hospital chaplain and will receive my copies of this class’s texts once we are done with them) I have been taught that God is everywhere. It is He whom we see as love from other people; it is He whom we admire when we find beauty or peace somewhere in the world. Besides the lessons to be open-minded, to take care of your cousins because they are as close as siblings, and that it is okay that someone recognizes you though you have never been to this town, family is there to be loved, however you define ‘family.’ I mentioned before at how my people at school are closer to me than my biological family at times. It only seems that way: I do not know how many times I have had to explain myself by saying “It’s how I was raised,” or “I was always taught to do that.” My biological family now extends through all the Midwestern states from Texas to Wisconsin, Michigan to Mississippi, and now even to a fourth generation on both sides. They have carried through any lessons I have picked up through life. Family designed my original set of filters, and everything about the world gets sifted by them first.

My family is where I will always belong. Whether it is merely their care for me and each other, or if there is more – the power of God – that comes through, it does not matter to me. We all care, and that is more than enough. We care for the families that maybe cannot provide for themselves very well, or the kittens picked up in the middle of the intersection, or the kids who come from struggling, unhealthy homes, or the dogs who just adopt a household as their new family.
With my upbringing and experiences, I have really come to understand the oft-used phrase “Home is where the heart is,” and the idea that “Family is what you make of it.” At a reunion out at a cabin (or three) on Lake Michigan is just as much ‘being home’ as sitting on the couch at my cousins’. And dinner at school with my friends is just as much a family dinner as Dad’s Chicken Dried Beef Bake and mashed potatoes that Mom has to specially request a week ahead of time.

Knowing that I can be at home and with family at my house or school or anywhere beyond is a confidence booster. I belong somewhere, with someone, or many someones, and they belong with me. This in turn has made me a mite possessive; they are ‘my boys’ just because they are really good friends, and despite their objection to be claimed, I am as much one of ‘their girls’ as they are my family. I know what I have and am thankful for it. I try to spread it to others when I can –which just makes my family bigger- and we all keep going because life makes keep existing, so we love it and live it while it is here.

--(c)CBates. (My essay; give credit where it is due.) Dec 2009

Health & Healing: Stress Therapy, Meditation

2009-12-15T16:29:00.005-06:00

I clock in to work after changing into a paint-covered t-shirt, old jeans, and my now -splattered gym shoes. I move my watch from my wrist to my belt loop, next to my shop key. I leave my room key with my sweatshirt and pick up my work gloves, tucking them in my back pocket as I adjust the bandanna on my head. No matter what day, my mood or anyone else’s, we always start off with the same little ritual:
“Hey G. Hey B.”
“Hey,” G glances up from his work and smiles.
B comes out of his office: “Hi Courtney, how are ya?”
“Pretty good. You?”
“Not too bad.”
“What’re we doing?”
“Well,” B begins. And we’re off. We take a lap around the shop, the stage, the house, the booth finding what needs to be done next or who needs help holding this or painting that or what I can do right then and there, saying “Hi” to the other student workers as we pass. “Go find a screw gun and attach these over here…” or put those over there, which screws? This length. Are you guys using them? No, we left them over there. Someone moved them since then, though, so look in the shop. Is that an extra gun? Yeah, sure, here. Where is a level? In the closet on the back wall. Hey B? G, I finished! I need this cut to this size. Going loud! Could I borrow the knife for a moment? Here, hold this. Where’s the gaff tape? Move me downstage, please. Did I do this right? Walls going out! Thank you. Next channel. Where are the bolts? On the door by the brooms. Can you grab a dustpan while you are over there? Never mind, I found them.

The shop babble floats around as we settle in with our power tools and paint brushes. The occasional shout of success or distinctive clunk of dropped wood joins the din of questions and short responses, but usually the only whining is of the drills, any screams from the three-inch screws as they are forced to twist into two-by-fours. We talk and joke, venting and exchanging horror stories of life. We come in to work in the crabbiest of moods, frustrated from tests and overwhelmed with emotion. Force a bit of civility, just long enough to get something to do, then get to work. After a time of ignoring everything but the task at hand, becoming completely immersed in the rhythm of grab a screw, place it, drive it, move to the next, repeat, we find that the majority of the negative emotions have worked themselves off. Every screw needed something behind it to make sure it went in all the way. We draw on our frustration and channel it into the project at hand. There is nothing quite like taking anger out in a constructive manner. Everything we build has parts of us in it. Where else am I (or any of the others who are smaller than I am) going to get the determination to move a wall twice my size? By treating it like the problem in mind, only knowing that, with this wall, I can move it. And if I can’t, I know all I have to do is say “Can I get some help please?” and someone will come. It may not be a perfect metaphor for what I’m representing with my wall, but the wall gets put into place, and in feeling better about accomplishing that I feel better about my issue it stands for.

Last year there was a point when it seemed everything had been going wrong and breaking, leaving the shop workers to clean up and repair the mess. We decided that the Shop could fix anything: scraped floors to scraped knees, chipped paint to chipped nails, ripped canvas to ripped dreams, rewiring of cables to rewiring of perspective. The only thing the Shop hadn’t had to fix at that point was broken hearts, and none of us were too keen on the idea of testing it.

As I take pieces of wood and assemble them, I puzzle over life’s troubles and begin to build solutions. It is probably my best time to think, while I’m working with my hands on something I know how to do. That is partly why I knit through classes: when I am doing something with my hands I know I am thinking; when I create something tangible I synthesize mentally. When I knit outside of class, I find myself turning thoughts and concepts end over end. Look at it this way, that way, wait, what about over here? I sit and think, and as I work, I calm down. I can figure out maybe what direction to go in to find the solution. And if the problem is just too raw to work with, my knitting tells me that: it gets all tangled and knotted and I get just as stuck with the string as I am with the thoughts. This mental calming and solving is probably as close as I get to meditation; Monday will be a nice reminder of what it really is.

We used to do a bit of meditation as part of warm up for the musical’s dance rehearsals; our choreographer enjoyed it, and meditation helped everyone have enough patience to work together fresh out of a long day of high school. That is what I can refer to when working with the word “meditation”: those five-minute breathe, relax, let it go, come back sequences that I think most of us really used as a quick power nap before needing to be energized for dancing. We were supposed to come back from our moment feeling rested and focused, ready to rehearse and leave the day’s troubles behind us. This part I can see as the power of wishful thinking: if you think and want it hard enough, it will happen. We all wanted energy and to relax for a moment, so we took our calming moment and came back rested.

The sort of meditation I find in working with my hands allows me to solve the problems that bother me, if not distract me to the point of forgetting how much they aggravate. The form we did before practice just let me put everything else on hold until after rehearsal. I find my version to be more helpful for me, because then what is done is done, and not just waiting to pounce on me when I turn back to it. The waiting until I can deal with an issue just multiplies my stress; I am impatient when mental quandaries stick around longer than it takes to solve them. Just let me knit, or build, or write. I will have something to show you at the end of it, and I will feel much more sane and stable for doing so. You may only see the scarf or the set or the journal entry, but I see another battle won, another string of problems solved.

--(c)CBates. (My essay; give credit where it is due.) Nov 2009

Health & Healing: Meals

2009-12-15T16:22:00.003-06:00

Tonight I will be making dinner. My friend N and I will head to the store right after this class to get the ingredients; then we will bother my neighbor K for his pots and spoons, knife and cutting board. N and I will then go down to the kitchen available for residents’ use and make chicken noodle soup, with carrots, celery, onions, and herbs, just like her Polish mother does. She and I both have a maternal streak. Since K and our fourth partner, A, are both sick to the point where they have traded pain relievers and decongestants to see what works better for whom, N and I have found something that we can do to maybe help them feel better. Nothing says “home from school being taken care of by Mom” like homemade chicken noodle soup, so that’s what we’ll do, for the sick ones, ourselves, and the rest of our group.

Why make food? In my theology class on “Health & Healing,” we’ve discussed the importance of food: it’s necessary for our survival, for one. Two, it provides bonding time. We may joke about the stereotypical 50’s “So how was your day?” “Just fine, Mother.” conversation over breaded chicken and potato pancakes, but we mean it. The people I cook for and with are my family at school. Dominican is more my home than my house, and my floor mates more family than the ones I was born to. It happens when you’re a resident.

My favorite memories from the past year or so are of meals. Doesn’t matter what we are eating (homemade pizzas, Coldstone ice cream, our food service’s Thanksgiving dinner, or the occasional dining hall ‘um.. I’m not sure what it is but I guess it’s edible’ food), it’s the conversation that matters. The laughter at each others’ puns, the commiseration over failed physics tests, the constant flirting that happens when we relax and open up to each other after a long day of classes. This is the community that happens over food. We bond to each other, and to the meal. Like the first meal we cooked ourselves: when we made about three dinners at once. (Oops. Well, we had plenty of leftovers for the next week.) Or the birthdays that we would celebrate with cake or pudding. Even the perpetual mess of flour –because it gets everywhere- or splashing water while washing dishes. We all cry together in the kitchen, too; someone is chopping an onion and the room is too small to escape the tears. Anyone who walks by the commons while we are cooking gets annoyed at us for having the door open to let out some of the heat, carrying the smell of frying bacon with it.

Despite the individual details from each meal that make each memory special, there is always a moment when I can look around at my people, momentarily silent but for chewing, and know that this is what I’ll remember. Knowing that we made a meal and it is definitely of better quality than the school is giving us, and that it was made with love and support, not the masses, in mind. Being able to sit back, relax for a moment and really breathe; sharing a table, conversation, and evening with these people; knowing they care and support me.

This community of the meal table reminds me slightly of the Last Supper painting and stories; of the importance of consuming in company. Eating alone is eating for necessity. We have to eat to survive. We may as well take the time that has to be spent eating, stretch it out a little and let it be relaxing and mentally and emotionally recharging as well as physically.

Religion, politics, and finances are not to be discussed at the dinner table, but if we speak of one, we debate them all. The longest lasting conversations tend to be the religious vs. spiritual, because we know we cannot change finances or politics with mere dinner table talk. My group of scientists and mathematicians do not tend to be the most religious of folk, despite being raised in varying degrees of Catholic, Lutheran, or Christian homes. The existence of a God is still up for debate, in our own minds and hearts as well as over the table, but at the moments when I realize I am truly happy, watching and listening to the strangers I adopted as family, I say thank you. If there is a god, he’ll hear me. If not, I’m adding that moment to my list of things to be thankful for. It is that list that I go back to when I am over stressed, or feeling down, or overwhelmed. It is those moments that make the harder times just a little bit easier to get through.

As college students in such a technological age, we are constantly bombarded with electronic messages and impatience. (What do we want? Everything! When do we want it? Now!) This type of lifestyle, in a recent conversation, became a metaphoric stove. There are many burners, and on each is a pot. Some things, like the task at hand, are front and center, being stirred and watched, added to and tested. Other things are literally “on the back burner,” pushed away and turned to Low heat. The problem with letting things sit at the distance is that it is harder to watch them. If the heat is not low enough, they will boil over. (Like my grade in a certain class. I thought it was under control, next thing I know it has bubbled over and made a huge mess that has to be cleaned up off of a hot stove, by other pots that will hopefully not boil over at the same time.) Other times, a little nudge is all it takes to turn off a back burner, or even the front one. That pot is done cooking, time to move on. It is an extremely welcome thing when other people can come by and turn one off, perhaps the one with the guilt from some situation, removing it from the heat merely by saying something as simple as “You didn’t let us down.” The best part is when everything can be turned to Low and moved, or turned off completely: that’s when the meal is done and can be shared and enjoyed, celebrated. When everyone around the dinner table can sit back, relax, be reminded of the support system they have established, and prepare for the next wave of incoming pots.

--(c)CBates. (My essay; give credit where it is due.) Oct 2009

Computer Repairs

2009-12-03T12:17:00.002-06:00

Error: "User Profile Service failed the logon. User profile cannot be loaded."

Based on help posted all over, this is what I found helped the most. Saved passwords, bookmarks, etc are lost unless you know where to look to transfer them, but files/photos/music can be saved easily.
----------------------------------------------------------
Run computer in [Safe Mode with Command prompt] for all of this. Save yourself the headache of restarting it an infinite number of times.

Log in to problem profile

Using the Command Prompts: type text in [ ] without using backspace, hit "enter"
You may need to repeat the commands to get the proper responses. If you mess up, just finish typing the command and try again.

CP: [net user administrator /active: yes]
--command to un-hide the admin account. Returns successful acknowledgment

CP: net user newProfile newPassword /add (/domain)
--creates new standard account with username: newProfile and password: newPassword as typed. Returns successful acknowledgment

If yours, like mine, had failed to open Windows Explorer and won't give you a tool bar,
CP: start.. --opens Windows Explorer, then maneuver through the folders to get into the Control Panel > Users > Profiles of my problem profile where I could access the files. I copy-pasted them into the working profile/new standard profile.

Log out of problem profile

Log in to the newly found admin account, Control Panel > User Accounts > Manage Another Account to change my working profile from standard to admin.

Log out of admin account

Log in to the working account to be sure everything transferred accounts nicely. If it didn't, you should be able to access the files as before through the working profile until it does. If it did, Control Panel > User Accounts > Delete Account the problem profile.

CP: [net user administrator /active: no]
--command to hide the admin account. Returns successful acknowledgment
----------------------------------------------------------

Now feel free to restart in normal mode and continue on with life, using the new working admin file in place of the old, now deleted, file.

The little things that make life perfect at that moment.

2009-11-20T22:55:00.004-06:00

- Hug (or other comforting touch)
- Cinnamon or gingerbread ice cream
- Heath candy bar
- Good song on the radio
- Hot apple cider
- Warm comfy spot to curl up in
- A bonfire or fire in the fireplace
- Lots of stars in the night sky
- Good laugh
- Random stranger's smile
- Being able to let go
-

I'll add more as they come to me.

Finishing

2009-10-17T01:35:00.004-05:00

I didn't want to stay at school. Most of my usual group went home and left me; I had nothing to do but take the car back home so here I am. I'm tired. More than I was yesterday. And I thought I got a decent amount of sleep... but midnight-ish to 748 am just doesn't seem to work. Yet the days after 4 hour nights seemed perfectly fine. And it's 140 am, I'm still up, and it's a Friday night of MU project. Wooo.
I don't want to be at school - staying there all weekend by myself seemed such a waste of my time. But coming home won't be much better, at least as I can see.
Almost done with "Pebbled." I think I've subconsciously decided I can't finish it until I finish my Vectorworks battle, so it is still sitting there.
In the car on the way home --because driving alone on a cloudy night was the only thing that I might actually have a willingness to do-- I was thinking about what I wanted. The words didn't make that much sense, of course, but I was more feeling than thinking in words anyways. I wanted a presence like K that cared like C. Or was it K's proximity and C's contact? I think the decision ended at wanting the person C used to be. But I'm not the person I was then, so why would I want the same thing I did then? I've changed too much since then. And so has C. Which is why I miss then-C. But K's one presence that has been around. Even though I suspect that's more wishful thinking because it's really been A who has been around and helpful and filling in that spot that was partially C's and is partly K's. Especially now with the drastic differences in distance...
But I am tired and still have to put wires in my diagram and email lots of things to K for MU. Maybe the wires will be tomorrow's project. Along with my Networks and Discrete assignments. I'd like to finish the Pebbled project, too --I could finish L's replacement hanger in an hour if I took the time to as well. I could finish a lot tomorrow//\\ technically today. Who knows anymore. I have laundry to fold and a proposal to email. Good night (morning?).

Discrete Structures / Mathematics Review I

2009-10-07T10:45:00.005-05:00

Chapter 1

a sentence is a statement if can be labeled T/F.

original: p->q.
inverse, like a tarot card: ~p->~q.
converse is left and right like shoes: q->p.
contrapositive is both inverse and converse: ~q->~p.

biconditional: p<->q
which means (p->q) & (q->p)

DeMorgan negates by flipping the &/or and adding ~:
[ ~(p & q) = ~p or ~q ]
[ ~(p or q) = ~p & ~q ]

Circuits:

T (from truth table) = Closed (circuit) = On (light bulb) = 1
F = Open = Off = 0

Gates:
AND D = &
OR )> = or
NOT |>o = ~(stmt)

1. CAN'T combine input wires
2. CAN split input wires
3. output CAN be next input
4. usually, output CAN'T be same gate's input

Number Systems:
*LABEL BASES*
binary = base 2 / 2^nth power = uses digits 0-1
octal = base 8 / 8^nth power = uses digits 0-7
decimal = base 10 / 10^nth power = uses digits 0-9 <--- 'Normal' numbers
hexadecimal = base 16 / 16^nth power = uses digits 0-F (0-9 as is, A=10, B=11, C=12, D=13, E=14, F=15)

Two's Complement: for negative binary numbers
take number, subtract from 11111111base2 (256base10) = one's complement
add 00000001base2 = two's complement

Adding/Subtracting in Binary:
1. convert numbers to 8-bit binary, use 2'sC for negative numbers
2. add 2 binary values
3. if sum overflows into 9th high order bit (9 bit digit, not 8), eliminate 9th bit -doesn't matter.
4. resulting 8 bit value: if starts with 1, is negative. if starts with 0, positive value.
5. convert back to original base

Half-Adder: (P or Q) & ~(P & Q) = Sum + Carry
Full-Adder: HA -> PQSum -> HA with R -> RSum = Sum, PQCarry or RCarry = Carry.
Three Bit Adder: HA -> FA -> FA
---Diagrams!---

Pebbled - II

2009-10-06T11:08:00.002-05:00

Cont. from Pebbled

I finally made it long enough that I felt okay to BO. The tension changed at one point, and it's not as sideways stretchy as it was before the switch but oh well. It isn't as wide as I'd hoped it'd be, but I've picked up stitches down the side with the remaining ball and am working the pattern perpendicular to the original rectangle to add some width and not look so much like a scarf (though it'd make a great one. This yarn has been a treat to work with.) K's watched the last 6-8" be worked as I knit through class, but he doesn't get to watch this. Something about it has to be a surprise, since I told/showed him on his birthday that it was in the works and went along with the book. So far he doesn't know I changed direction - and won't unless he walks past while I'm working on it... O:-) I'd love to be done with it by the time we all go down to cook a meal again. I'm almost done, but we're overdue for a meal so we'll see if it works. It might need to be for the meal after the next. :)

There was a stretch where I would work 4 rows, rip 5, +5 -3 +6 -4... ie, undo everything I'd done. It set me back about two weeks worth of knitting time. Then tennis kept me too busy and sore to knit very much, but I got back to it and made progress.
It's still a calming project; I can't decided if that's because of the pattern, the yarn, or the intended.
It will be as perfect as I can make it. 1- variegated yarn: uncontrolled striping. 2- made by hand: variation of tension, stitch, errors, sizing, shape... It is a practical object that we will all use (if only because we'll steal it from his shoulder for the moment) and will be a reminder of me. But I made it with K in mind, and worked it with care and intent. And that's the point and what makes it perfect.

Headband Swap - August - Rec'd

2009-10-06T10:56:00.003-05:00

My headband from lyng

Headband swap finally came in!! (a month late, but it made it :) ) and pretty green...

"I'm worried that it will be too big after getting yours - hope not."
It's perfect. It's just snug enough it stays in place and soft enough to be comfortable. And, it's loose and wide enough I can cover my ears with it - Perfect, considering it's October in Chicago :):)

Tennis Season

2009-08-25T18:18:00.002-05:00

Preseason started 5 days ago. Three days of one practice, now two of two-a-days + conditioning. It's more than we did last season, but I'm okay with it. I'm mostly keeping up, and only a little sore, despite heating/icing my neck before/after each practice. The only thing that prepared me for this was being really active this summer, working in the shop and climbing whenever I could.
I really am enjoying the team this year. We all generally get along and can laugh and talk and hang out together (though I doubt any would really fit in with my normal group // school family and that's okay). We're all of similar level, which means that anyone you play against is a fair game, but that makes it really hard for the coaches to place us for the lineup. I will be happy if I'm playing. Exhibition is fun and all, but I get bored. I just want to play, as I keep telling Bob. I just want to play. And this year, I get to play. Really play and improve and enjoy the game. I enjoy the practices, the girls, the coaches, and even conditioning. I like what tennis is doing to me and will be sad when season is over. (Now, it'll be nice to have some free time, but still... We all miss it until Spring/NonTraditional season rolls around.)

Pebbled

2009-08-13T01:23:00.004-05:00

I am much enjoying my new pattern. It's a birthday present, so it's an unmentionable, but I'm having too much fun to keep too quiet about it. The yarn is soft and unexpected, but it was on sale so I looked at it with different eyes than I usually would. It's variegated, from a white to a mid-shade to dark. The stitch is "Pebbled", a moss stitch variant that I was surprised to find and find that I liked (I hate moss/seed stitch, 1x1 rib, twisted rib,... ie, quickly alternating knit-purl). A very pleasant surprise, plus calm and quiet, yet subtle complexity that really isn't that difficult to figure out or follow, just enough to fool the world. How appropriate, considering the person I'm giving it to. I guess that gives it away almost as much as the color scheme would... No, you don't get that. I know better. ;)

I had a moment after reading a blog post where I was smashed with deep emotion and upset and found myself sliding into what couldn't be a good place for my mental state and emotions. I said to myself "Stop." and turned to pick up this project. Just holding the work to figure out which row I was on in the 4-row pattern, feeling the stitches, looking at the colorway and the finished product's use made me think of the recipient. And that was enough to stop sliding. And I appreciate it.

I know this project is going to take a beating, so I will make it gently. It will probably need to be replaced along the line, but it's okay. I will be happy to remake repair replace it. My worry is that it won't be appreciated, but it reassures me it will be, if only because as it's maker I can already feel the content and peace that nullify my worries. It will bring some sort of contentment along when I give it. Fuzzy, pretty colors, and the content peace I find in it that only a few other projects have achieved. Now that I think of it, the only projects that had that sense were scarves... one of them only for the first half (I was too worried about running out for the second half) the other two because of amusement (I had to keep switching the one I was working on to keep their presence/present status secret, depending who was around).

The only problem I've found is that I want this project to take a long time - so I can enjoy it as much as possible - but I have a self-imposed deadline that must be met. Well, if there's any yarn left (there should be) I'll be casting on for another just to keep it going :) In the meantime, I will be making myself happy working on it, and wanting it off the needles so I can happily mush it without being poked.

Frisbee

2009-08-06T13:35:00.002-05:00

I love playing Frisbee. Out in the quad, cul-de-sac, or grotto, with eight people or two. If we’re playing Ultimate, everyone gets in a little running and has to at least try somewhat. If just Catch (which is usually the case because we'll wait for people to join in to make enough for Ultimate), then everyone can play at their level, whether they want to talk (shout) across the yard between throws or make a move for every toss to keep on their toes and ready. Some watch each flight and call where it will land; some still think it will come to them if they stand still. Sometimes both work. It’s still something all of us can do, from the cross-country runner, to the lifeguard, to the distinctly non-athletic. We’re still congratulating the newest people every time they make a catch, because it’s still a fairly rare thing for them, and we give applause to some of the more…creative… catches by those more practiced. All in all, give us a Frisbee and some space and we’ll be amused for the next hour or two.
Better yet if you give us some drinking water as well. We play hard.
Well, some of us do.

Sometimes... :)
:)

frustration

2009-08-05T02:27:00.005-05:00

Yay for group projects!
Meeting of the minds, debate, discussion, teamwork.. all fun. It really is. Until anyone gets closed-minded.

I know this is more your field, and that you've worked with this process, but I don't believe you when you say we can't modify it to make it work. You can argue theory with me, and you can cite experience with the process, but you don't have the experience in the manner we will be needing it. None of us have that. I don't even have any experience with it whatsoever, I'll admit. But don't tell me "We Can't". Verily, I -theoretically- understand why the original process won't work in this new situation. And I'm working on making up a way to modify it so we can use it.
If you want to prove to me that we can't do it, original process or 15th alteration of it, fine, please do, but I need you to actually run the experiment under as close as possible environment to what we need, let me play with it until I can't anymore, and then when I've run out of ideas and agree with you, can you tell me we can't do it.
But until then, despite my uneducated knowledge of physics, chemistry, crystals, and gravity, I tell you that it can work. Help me set it up (because I don't have the experience with these materials and you do) and I will prove it.

Stop telling me it CAN'T work when I'm pretty sure, if you give me the _____ chance, that it CAN.

rahrgh....

Peace, luv.

2009-07-27T23:56:00.003-05:00

Apologies for crappy cell phone pic

Red Heart Super Saver
size 9 dpns (4/5)

CO 60 (20/dpn)
k1 round
k1 round
*k3 k2tog* (16/dpn)
k1 round
k3, BO12 , k4, BO12, k3, BO5, k3, BO5, k1
Adjust sts so that (with 5 dpns)
1- the last st and first 3 are on needle 1 (left angle line of peace sign)
2- the next 5 are on needle 2 (top line)
3- the next 4 on needle 3 (right angle line)
4- the next 4 on needle 4 (bottom up line)
(With 4 dpns, I held the needles 3 and 4 on the same needle. The rest in is stockinette so put sts wherever is easiest to manage)

--Following is all in stst--

needle 2- one row, break yarn
needle 1- 8 rows stst, 1 row *k2tog* break yarn
needle 3- 8 rows stst, 1 row *k2tog* break yarn
needle 4- 8 rows. On row 9, add sts from needle 3
Next row stst, adding sts from needle 1 at end
row: stst 1, 2tog, 2tog, stst 3
row: stst 1, 2tog, 2tog, stst 1
stst 2 rows
join & BO with needle 2

(I alternated sts from working needle and needle 2 onto one needle, then stst2tog/BO on WS)

Weave in ends and block (image is unblocked). Hang over doorknob, use as ornament, applique onto bag or clothing...

Rental Cottage, On Lake Michigan, Mid-July

2009-07-18T02:18:00.004-05:00

We always go up on Saturday, settle in- let our feet rejoice in the sand and cold, cold waves...
Celebrate the July birthdays on Sunday...
Monday is 'just crash day'- at the beach, in the yard- the first really relaxing day. the books come out, the card games, boggle...
Tuesday is more complicated games and meals, maybe beach volleyball or olympics...
Wed is for BeachOlympics or talking and bonding with family we don't see often and scoping out pizza places, usually a storm that night...
Thursday is golf or berry picking or sleep-in day, afternoon of tall waves, and ending with going out for pizza en masse...
Friday is 'last day for the lake!!' and rally scrabble and leftovers, and some packing...
And Saturday we load up, clean up, and head home to plan the next year's reunion with the water.

Some things never change. And somethings can only get better. Ask Grandma, when you go over there next, if you can see the Michigan Book. It tells the story better than any of us, the six kids, their kids, theirs, and any of the friends who have stopped by ever could, because we all had a hand in it. I wish we each had a copy of it.

I-cord + Internet = Babbles

2009-07-17T00:07:00.003-05:00

purl purl switch slide Making a spaztic rainbow... purl purl switch slide New pattern! purl In the round? purl On double points... switch slide Oooh felted... purl purl switch slide I wonder... purl purl switch slide I-cord teehehe... purl purl switch slide ooh pictures! purl pretty... purl switch hmm.. slide I-cord wrapped then felted? purl purl switch slide Write down translated directions...purl purl switch slide Hey now, I could do that, purl If I just purl do that instead switch slide I better start plotting purl purl switch slide Or I'll run out of time purl purl switch and never finish slide purl purl switch slide I can't wait purl to get to Joann Fabrics purl purl or Hobby Lobby switch slide or even Meijer tomorrow. purl purl switch slide I need more yarn! purl purl switch slide I have yet to find purl a satisfactory pattern purl switch for my project so slide so I get to make one up, as usual. purl purl switch slide But now to finish my last icord anklet... purl purl switch slide

Plotting Again

2009-07-16T00:49:00.003-05:00

I need another set of US 3 bamboo double-pointed needles. Or maybe just a circular... but that just gets hard to work with after a while... Well, 120 sts over 8 dpns (with one holding another project and one for working this project- my bamboos came in a set of 5) is still 15 sts per needle, which is doable, I found. 25 sts per needle works okay...ish... i'm still short a single needle then. 30 sts per needle is a bit much... but I guess if I can find decent stoppers for the ends of the needles I'm not working with it might be okay.

Of course, this entire project is --like just about anything else I've knit-- based on something I found online, made in that form, and now am adjusting it to fit something else I found online.

This time, you'll have to wait. If it works, it'll be a birthday present.(Okay, okay, probably Christmas in all honesty) I have to go get yarn for it, and either another set of needles (because I'm using these 5 in two other projects, thank you very much) or a circular. I think Friday will be a trip to Joann and Meijer and Hobby Lobby since that's who carries yarn and needles when I go home.

As usual, we'll see if it works.

MU

2009-07-15T02:25:00.004-05:00

I get to work on the Outreach and Administrative sections of the Proposal to be submitted in a couple months for NASA's Microgravity University. It looks like we'll be asking the school for about $5000 -- so we can stay in a half-decent hotel that isn't too far from the Space Center for the required 10 days, eat some not-fast-food for the 20 meals we have to fend for ourselves there, plus gas/food or airfare to get there, and if we ship the experiment. Woo fun. And if that's not what DU wants, then my vote goes towards saying "We got ourselves into this competition this far. Can you at least get us there and keep us there?" and ask for travel and lodging to be paid. This comes closer to $3000, and we only have to fend for ourselves for food and souvenirs. And camera batteries. And whatever else comes up... We are poor college students at a university where they like to take our money. It'd be nice to see a little of it again. (As if $3000 is more than 1/9 of one year's tuition)
I'm going to sleep before these numbers start swimming again.

Revisit, Rethink

2009-07-11T02:07:00.001-05:00

KNITTING
Finished the purple poof as a half-birthday present. It ended up looking more like a flower than intended, and will probably just be a toy instead of a bath scrubbie, but oh well. Enjoyed all the same .

I hate casting on a new project and having to stop working on it. It’s so hard for me to pick it up again because it’s barely started. Once I get the momentum going, I can pick it up and put it down just about any time, but this—20 sts into the first round? It just sits there, waiting for me.

VENTINGS
I stand corrected – well, sit corrected.
I said he wouldn’t do it. But I’m getting the chance I didn’t think I’d have. Sort of.
Still on the other side of the fence, but realizing it’s a fence not a wall… I’d taken my turn, he finally took his. I took another, and now I’m watching his next turn unfold, with a much better idea of playing style. It’s about time it sunk in…

We are similar enough – I just haven’t figured out how, exactly, - but are complete opposites and have much to learn from each other because of it. Well, at least I know I’ll be learning from you and hope you’re learning something worthwhile from me.

Some things are okay to obsess about. Like projects on a deadline.

The problem is I don’t know where to start. Where to start, what to do, what step to take. I guess that’s what happens when you aren’t in your element anymore…

It amuses me how my blog entries change over time: from knit updates to upset ventings… but I hurt too much right now so I’m going to bed. Okay, 2am might have something to do with it…

Webdings Mishap

2009-07-10T19:11:00.006-05:00

In our chat, you said no copy/paste, as in for sharing with others. I promised the details would remain with me. I saved the file after making the text match the page color, and changing the font to a pictorial text. Now, I can't change it back to readable text. The only words that manage to change properly are the ones that were hyperlinked, so the link I gave you and your name (because it went to your profile). Lucky you, now I can't even see it, much less pass it on.
I asked G if he knew how to fix it back, he didn't believe that it wouldn't work and wanted to see it. I told him it was personal - how personal? - break someone's trust personal - ooooh. make another file? So I used a copy of the chat with him, saved the same way, and sent that to him. He mentioned making password protected-- I couldn't figure out how. That was my first response. He's looking up how maybe to fix this so I can read my file.

Of course now I figure out how to password protect it... *sigh*

Aha. Notepad++ can decode saved webdings. But only if saved in a .rtf file first.

Woooo fixed & protected and done. Life is a learning experience...

Release - Relief - Relax

2009-07-09T23:54:00.005-05:00

For some reason, people have come to me for advice. Usually, telling them to talk to each other works wonders. It gives them just enough momentum and confidence to actually talk the problem out.
Ah, but hypocritical as usual...
I couldn't do it. I couldn't say anything, much less in a constructive way. I didn't know how, but it got to be an issue enough that they brought it up. And I could answer honestly. And I'm glad I saved it, because all I know right now is that I feel like I can go to sleep, I'm able to relax that much, and one line of actual words. The rest is just emotion - and a lot of release.
I was going to go to sleep-- but the ipod needs charging *sigh*

"Fifty points for the ponytail!"

Confusion / Frustration

2009-07-09T00:46:00.004-05:00

There are some people whom I love to be around. They are the ones who are comfortable with me, and we can have conversations that bounce all over from this reference to that, from all seriousness to puns to picking on each other, in the amount of time it takes to read to here. I can start a conversation, or you can, and it might be a question (from "What's up?" to "How does this work?" to "What time _____?") or just a random statement (from "Hey, thanks for getting me" to "I did ______" to "_____ happened" or the favorite: scolding someone else completely when they can't hear you) or even just laughing at some random thought, provoking a "What's so funny?" that must of course be answered. All it takes is a moment of comment or query, then a response resounds.

Except with you. You will not answer my questions directly, and I have not the patience for it anymore. I HATE IT!!! And when I'm just trying to be relaxed me, and make comments about the world at large, you have no response. Kind of like the other person we call Robot. Only they earned the name out of fondness; you, I'm not so sure. So I fall silent, which you are okay with, at least, I guess, because you don't do anything to change it... But I'm not okay with it because I'm not really comfortable around you. I don't know how to be because you don't accept me like everyone else does --I know, you aren't everyone else, but still: I don't know you because I don't know how to read you or understand you. I can't just let you be you and treat me like you are without not liking it. But there's some reason I do like you and want you to be okay with me and me be okay with you. I just wish I knew why so I could tell it to shut up and go away and not have to worry about this.
And you Won't Teach Me How ("That'd make it too easy," you say). Make me learn it on my own- fine, I should learn it better that way, but I still need to be GUIDED, hello. A little direction would be nice. I hate not knowing where to go or what to do. That's when I panic and get obsessed and stuck on the thought "What do I do? I don't know. What do I DO? I don't KNOW!" And I know that's something about me that you don't like. I don't like it either. Guide me in a direction to go, and I'll run with it. Probably won't end up where you want me to be, but at least it's off that-a-ways...
At least you aren't pushing me anywhere. I guess I do appreciate that.
Sometimes I hate being an optimist.
It doesn't help that you are so solid a presence and it makes me feel like I'm going to float away in comparison...
~-------------~----------~-------------~----------~
I wonder if I should be on anti-anxiety meds or something... because once something gets caught, it's stuck until I wear it out or it gets displaced by something else getting caught. Then I wonder what got caught in the first place, and then both/everything since the beginning is stuck again, at once, rotating. It's like an obnoxious rhyme scheme: AAAABBBBCCCCBCBCBCABCABCABCBACACACABABABCBDBDBDBCBDBCABCBDA... It's OCD of thoughts. I don't have any real 'rituals' that are stereotyped OCD. Most of my habits are common ones, and I don't do them more than anyone else (outside the fact my fingernails are too short from being bitten - I'm trying to knit to keep from biting though. It works unless I'm reading).
The Obsessive is the repeats in my mind. Like a song stuck in your head, but that's the normal version. I get thoughts, phrases, emotions caught. And they spread - to panic attacks even. I wish for songs to get stuck in my head. That's the normal version - it's supposed to happen. Plus it gives me something to sing or whistle or hum and no one seems to mind me singing... and it's relaxing because no one minds it. I guess that's why I always have music playing. It muffles my mind and gives it something to pay attention to other than the current stuck thought.
The Compulsive is how things get stuck. It doesn't matter what they are, they just pop up and repeat, and I can't get them out until something stronger comes into play.
I guess that makes the Disorder part the problem that whatever comes up doesn't go away until it gets worse, and then they add up. Or when I can't figure out what to do, figure out my direction to go. I can't get past that, and it's an infinite loop- I break. I panic. Sometimes all it takes is to play a few songs and sing along, sometimes I need to talk of something else completely (especially if I have control there), and sometimes the only thing to help is to wrap in enough blankets that I maybe won't shake myself apart while I try to go to sleep, listen to music, talk of other things, or all of them.
~-------------~----------~-------------~----------~
I really like quoting poems back and forth. It's memory test, and teamwork, and we never get much further than about 6 lines, max. *sigh* I really need to learn more poetry - or more of the ones we already use ("The Walrus & the Carpenter", "The Raven", any Shel Silverstein...). Maybe I can use the rhythm of memorizing the poetry to defeat my OCD tendencies... Or use the obsessive recitation of a concept to my advantage to memorize the poems. Hmmm.

I still hate being an optimist sometimes, especially in a world of pessimists.

Noooo!!!

2009-07-07T12:58:00.004-05:00

My gauge was wrong. On the skirt, that I have 40+ rows done. Probably 3 thousand stitches....maybe even 4. or more... and I have to frog all of it because I don't know anyone it would fit//would wear it at this size.
It's an extra third the size I wanted it to be. The goal was 31", it's closer to -oh, I don't know, maybe 50? 46" on measuring. Hm. It might fit a certain person then...but I want this skirt. I want it for Me because I'm supergeek the knitter who codes her patterns. MINE. ..but that means I must frog the Entire. Thing.
Craptastic.

Well, I did take note that I need another inch of waistband ribbing anyways, and that the shaping is working perfectly so far. Now, I know I deviated from the pattern so What Did I Do? is the question...

Okay, so I cast on again. New plan of attack: 140 sts (vs 188), twisted ribbing for 2" (vs 2x2 for 1") and then begin the skirt/shaping.
So far, the twisted ribbing is making my hands/wrists unhappy because they aren't used to the knit through back loop, and I hate seed stitch/1x1. But I'm going to do this. This is the third time I've cast on a major project with this cone and needles. I'm going to do this and you, stupid cone, will Not stop me.

Card Case

2009-07-05T01:19:00.012-05:00

I saw a picture online (I forget where, Sorry!) and decided I can do that, I could make a case for my deck of cards. 5 sticky notes, a few calculations, much frogging and several class days' worth of knitting later, I had a couple of boxes of varying styles to show. Photo unavailable because I did not get to keep the cases- they were snatched by my brother and a couple friends of ours to use for Magic: the Gathering (R) card decks during an informal tournament.

NOTE: KNITTABLE FOR TEENAGE BOYS THAT THEY WILL USE!!! (At least, the ones around me do. Even if they don't do trading cards, they'll play Poker or Hearts or Go Fish. Just think, monogrammed, or a Halo (C) symbol, or Mario (C) character, or distorted Apple (TM) logo, or power button, or...)

Now that I'm used to making them, the pattern is really simple and really easily customized. Once you have your gauge in stockinette, have fun with colors and intarsia patterns (I really like graph paper or Excel); if you feel up to it (I haven't yet) change stitch patterns, perhaps a lacy case? fishnet? a card deck wrapped in a heavy sweater? Have fun doing whatever strikes your fancy :)

This is the version I made up; I was inspired by a picture online but I'm sure that others have figured out their own versions of this, too.

The basic instructions, based on your own gauge with your choice of straight needles (best about 10" long, unless using jumbo-sized cards) and a single color/type of yarn:
(DPN instructions to come, along with sample intarsia chart)

MATERIALS:

Straight needles, yarn, tapestry needle, button, crochet hook(?)

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:

A= # sts width of cards (short side of card) = _____ sts
B rows = # rows thickness of deck of cards = _____ rows
(a 40 card game deck will need fewer rows than a normal 52 card deck, or a 72 card tarot deck)
B sts = # sts thickness of deck of cards = _____ sts
C = # rows height of cards (long side of card) = _____ rows

Diagram of what each letter represents, for the visually-(and not so verbally-) minded.
BOTTOM:

CO A [K row, P row] until knitted section = B rows .
CREASE: Repeat previous row(if last was K, K again, if P, then P)
SIDES: CO B sts+A+B sts, and repeat previous row (if K, K; if P, P) then continue stockinette until C. Ideally, you are now at the farthest corner from the bottom flap (see orange star in image). If you aren't, work one more row in pattern until you are at the star.

OPTIONS:

1) Continue in pattern for 2 more rows, then BO all for sock-like case. (Works best if sizing is a little snug, but still with a little give- or at least enough to get your fingers in.)
2) Add a few more rows (about 2/3 B rows), weave an i-cord through and have a drawstring case. (If you feel the sock isn't enough)
3) Add a fold-over flap (for a close-able case and have a button):
BO B sts+A+B sts, leaving A to work with.
CREASE: Repeat previous row as before (if was K, then KK, if was P, then PP) then continue in stockinette until 2 times B rows.
FLAP: Decrease Rows: Use your favorite decrease in pattern (K row/P row) to lessen # sts to 2/3 (ie: [k, k2tog] or [p, p2tog]). Again. Repeat until approx. 5 sts.

Example: If A was 15 sts, after DecRow1: 10 sts. After DecRow2: 7. After DecRow3: 5.

(K/P) first st, BO 2-4, (K/P) st 5.
Work st 5 for ~3 rows (with crochet hook, if easier), enough to reach across now-buttonhole to BO into first st. Use tail to tighten buttonhole if necessary, then hide in flap.

Please play around with this pattern, changing colors, stitch patterns, yarns, needles, charts, sizes... If you want, you could make a laptop case on these same principles, or anything else rectangular. Brick covers, perhaps, for doorstops. I will be posting a dpn version with intarsia, based on this pattern soon. Please post a link to anything you make from this. Thanks! & have fun!

Weekends of Work

2009-06-28T22:55:00.007-05:00

Many hours spent in the Lund, setting up the shell, chairs, stands, techtable; taping cords, sound checks, setting light cues, moving sliders, running booth to backstage and back again... Two showings of Chiesa Nuova concert (orchestra, choir, and soloists), one of The Sound of Music

See, I can't communicate with you unless you let me. I know you won't, but occasionally you do, and it makes me so happy. But I can't figure it out. I don't know if I need to take what you say/do at face value, or if I should read into it. Or if it means both... I can't figure it out. And if you really want it that way, fine; it won't change if you don't change it, I know.
I miss having you around, but at the same time I am doing some major growing without you here. I can't wait to see what happens when you come back and don't know what to do with whom I've become, and whom A has become too. A usually says she's the one with more life experience. Then she spent these past two weeks working with me in my element. She realized that I have more life experience. Of course, we are defining "life experience" by dealing with different kinds of people. All of the people she works with (save one) have the same type of mindset; you can deal with one the same way you can deal with the rest. Now that she's spent some time working with my usual coworkers, getting confused and down because she doesn't understand how everyone works -- completely out of her element. She doesn't like it, but she's developed more respect for me because of it.

I wished she wasn't the only one to say that.

She responded that she wasn't going to take any of it from K anymore. That the next time he said something, she would either 1) go off on him: "You know nothing. You have no right to judge because you know nothing about her. You haven't seen her in her element." etc, or 2) say "You can think that."
I would rather 1, just because I know he won't say anything to me for me to say "you have no right to think that," and even if he does (fat chance) he won't believe me if I say it. A knows how to communicate with him (he is part of her department of type-clones) and he will actually Listen to her and what she has to say. He'll try to see where she's coming from. And if he won't, then he's more close-minded than I have thought of him. I feel I can make that judgment seeing as any judging of me by them has been on their grounds, in their world, by their standards. I am tired of trying to deal with him and some of the others on their turf.
Come stand in my yard for a while. See how you like being pulled out of your element and being held up to someone else's standards in their world. I'd like to see you working FOH, trying to translate the manager's requests through walkie-talkie over the echoing din of the incoming crowd, attempting to shepherd a crowd to seats when they want to stand and mingle in the lobby, and yet keep the curious from exiting the emergency-exit doors, all the while not knowing what is most important or needs to be done NOW.

I wish there was a way to teach you the lesson you've taught me,
if only to return the unwanted, upsetting favor of judging someone outside of their world.

You only know me in your world. You don't know me in mine.
You cannot make judgments on Who I Really Am based only on your world's standards.
Rationality demands you to take into account Who I Am in My World, as well as in yours.
Try it for once, would you?
I strongly doubt you will.

pic

2009-06-23T01:34:00.001-05:00

Added for reference from DA.
Triple Date two Aprils ago, Millennium Park, Chicago.

The Hat

2009-06-17T22:06:00.005-05:00

Poem!
It's short and sweet, seemingly simple but deep. All in all, a pretty decent poem, if I may say so.
And thanks for objective audiences :) That's the problem with being a writer of whatever sort: you get so involved and invested in what you're writing that you lose sight of what a new reader might see. Then you go and ruin it by explaining what you did and why you did what... they aren't objective for the next work on that topic.

twenty years has gone so fast... the innocent can never last ... falling from the stars... becoming who we are

2009-06-15T19:42:00.008-05:00

CRAFTING
I want to make a quilt. To pick and cut and piece and baste and quilt and bind and finish. But I know that a quilt is almost more of a challenge to sew than to knit. And I have 4 knitting projects in progress. I wonder if Mom would let me bring the sewing machine to school, or if I could use the one in the costume shop.. I have watched Mom quilt, and am still flabbergasted at the number of quilts Grandma's made, for the cousins and otherwise. I've quilted on pillows, embroidered out of boredom, sewn bags for random things, made up Barbie fashions out of scraps, repaired stuffed animals, fixed torn sleeves, reconnected split seams, a little bit of applique' and buttons and beads. Needle nerd.
I still want to make a quilt. A said she wanted one and I'm thinking "Hey, I know how to do that. I could do that for her." There's nothing quite like a hand-quilted blanket (the machine makes piecing so much easier!! Same for machine quilting, but then the result is so stiff...) The problem is, do I make myself one first or a gift first? Because both at once will never-- actually, it might work. Hm... watch me mix up the patterns. Time for crayons and graph paper :) On top of the 4 knitting projects, random embroidery, and occasional creations. What can I say? I'm genetically crafty. And way more like my Grandma that I ever realized.

HOME
An interesting weekend at home - fire with the techies of multiple years, then my brother's grad party.
Borrowed a hat on impulse. Kind of want one of them now. It was different - made a different look than I'm used to for me...
[I was told - at the party, by extended family members/family friends - that, because of the hat, I looked like my aunt, one I'd never been likened to before, and that the brown I was wearing looked good (another new compliment). And I just said thank you, instead of making more comments on it. Bad habit of mine, negating the compliment...]
I was amused during the 13-player Apples to Apples (C) game, until my brother made a choice that really annoyed me (unrelated to the game). Still trying to figure out why his decision bothered me as much as it did--does.
Managed to return the hat... in exchange for my phone. I'd noticed when it was pulled out of my pocket, but not when it was unclipped from my belt loop. (!!) Not making the exchange would've made life interesting, seeing as I can't call off-campus from my room phone. Of course, had we not traded back, it would've required meeting later instead - once I'd realized what happened. >.< And I'd still have the hat.

You be comfortable with me, I be comfortable with you. I don't know I can do any more than that. I just get confused.
I'm not LS, but I'll do.
Okay?

Afternoon at the bookstore. Evening with the telescope?

2009-06-11T17:18:00.005-05:00

KNITTING
The plan was to go to Chix with Stix Knit Night last night - had the bus routes planned and everything - then I double checked: Cancelled for this week. Of course, the one week I have free for sure...

CLIMBING
The other option was to go to Ladies' Night at FFC Rock Wall, and I debated it. I really want my own shoes though, and not spending the $25 on fees to climb and rent shoes will be saved for when I buy my own.

BOOKS
I ended up spending the entire afternoon at the bookstore, reading 115 pages of Helix (my review) and also 110 pages in a book that I will probably get for A's birthday, or at least strongly recommend.

NERDDOM
I also picked up Collins Dictionary of Mathematics and ... Astronomy to match the ...Physics one I have - yay Bargain Books! The trio is pretty on my desk :)
And the hardcover The Sword of Shannara Trilogy was really pretty, too (and $35).

Telescopes got bumped to Friday - weather and unexpected calls - and I can't wait! It's been a few months since we've been out there and I'm hoping to get a few good pictures to submit to Celestron's Astrophotography Contest. I have an idea that would be really cool if we could get it to work *fingers crossed*.

CLASS
Is class. Not doing as well in it as I could/should be. Going to do homework as soon as I finish this (Do I hear a procrastinator? Surely not...)

WORK
The graduations are done!!! Now for Reunion Weekend... and then other rentals of varying sorts. Dance studios, Sinfonietta, theatre companies. And cleaning. Lots and lots of cleaning. This place is a mess! So I have plenty to keep me busy.

Review: Helix (Eric Brown)

2009-06-11T13:24:00.004-05:00

So I spent 5 1/2 hours at the neighborhood bookstore, got scolded by an employee: "You're not allowed to sit on the floor; there's a bench over there." (Although I think that's only in the Science Fiction section. Whenever I sit in the knitting, metaphysics, sports, or bargain sections no one ever has a problem with it... Is it really that hard to say "Excuse me" and give the reader a moment to move their feet? Any person who is flammable, feels pain, and has usable legs will never be a fire hazard.)
Found myself 115 pages into Helix when I was planning to read only a chapter to see if it was worth putting on my wishlist...

Set way in the future, a retired engineer lives by himself in the remains of his tiny community in an old Mars Shuttle graveyard. His daughter who is much more in tune with the world is selected to leave the dying Earth in cryosleep as one of 4000 colonists headed for a possible site near another star 1000 light-years away. She, of course, must leave her father behind, devastating the both of them. Once she goes into cryosleep, however, her father is given a job on the same vessel as a replacement engineer (it's not a spoiler, it happened early and I saw it coming earlier). She doesn't know he is there, but he goes into cryosleep with the knowledge he'll see her and surprise her when they are woken up.
Parallel storyline tells of a man running his late father's business with his father's business partner, who went on a Church-funded expedition and saw some things they shouldn't have, but the father mentioned it in a letter to his wife with the promise to tell more later. As usual, he died soon after, and she followed suit, leaving their son to wonder what was meant by the letter and why his father's partner won't tell anything.

I think that's enough story without too many spoilers. I am curious to figure out where the story lines cross: if the characters team up or against each other, because one or the other always happens.

"Summer lovin', had me a blast, Summer lovin' happened so fast..."

2009-06-02T14:00:00.004-05:00

KNITTING
Everything's been on hold. I don't have a class to knit through while the teacher lectures, I don't have anything to amuse me mentally that doesn't need my hands. Java Skirt, purple poof, bacteria, ... Nothing has gotten any further since move out 5 weeks ago. My nails, on the other hand, have been bitten low because I've been reading a lot when I can.

CLIMBING
A and I have found a lovely bouldering spot on the Jackson Harbor Wall downtown. It will be a lot more fun when we can get V and L to come with us, on a sunnier, slightly warmer day. Chalk bags and/or gloves would be nice, says A, but I think shoes would be better, personally. Definitely a place to climb with long pants/sleeves. Scraped elbows & shins, here we come. That's why we're going there. To practice and get used to being outdoors--we are such indoor gym climbers in thought processes.
I love climbing either way- indoors or out. There's so much immediate problem solving, egged on by the physical limitations of your own body. And I, halfway through the Graduation Weeks at the DUPAC, am exhausted physically and mentally. Yet we still went climbing. At the harbor and at Keystone Park because they have a kiddie indoor-style bouldering wall --that has loose grips!!! Must find allen wrench to fix them next time we go-- at the playground by the lighted tennis courts. Want to go climb at the park now. I've come to the conclusion that it's addicting. A healthy addiction, as long as I am careful/responsible as always. But I need to rest now so I can climb more later and not severely hurt myself. That would be bad and irresponsible.

BOOKS
Working on a Tad Williams and a book on coincidences & math in life. For boredom's sake during all the graduations I've got a Hardy Boys mystery borrowed from the Prop room. There's a stack down there of random books (including a Cussler and a physics book) that I'll be borrowing from through the rest of the summer.

CLASS
Midterm on Friday. Half way through the class, fraction of the way through my summer.

NERD-DOM
Found a StarWars tshirt, and wore it to Starship Subs. Was told I should just stand in the corner and I'd blend in.
Finished re-reading Dune.
Get to take the scopes out with Dr. G. tomorrow night after the 4th Graduation of the past week.

WORK
Graduations have been renting both spaces. Pomp & Circumstance has become permanently embedded in our skulls. It hurt my lips to listen to it the first time-- they remember playing it too well. Now it's just become a song that I don't realize I'm humming along to while I run around, setting up this mic and that one and adjusting volumes, moving chairs, raising curtain legs, dodging processions, checking out the instruments, racking stands, folding chairs, tweaking lights, unlocking doors, listening to the squawking radio... okay anything else? No? Okay breathe.... or just crash.

Summer

2009-05-14T02:15:00.003-05:00

Cleaning the shop, setup/cleanup of the sound shell. Multiple-birthday & Mothers' Day party with the family. Grandma's talk at church. Phone call from my missionary (in the "foreign field" of Nevada). Sunburn after 4 hours on the river in kayaks. Move back onto campus for the summer on saturday. Bday & first day of class on monday. Still need the book. oops.
/***************************************************************************************/
I have a plant. It is a Dracaena Marginata, more commonly known as Dragon Tree, or in my house, Dr. Seuss Plant. If you've ever had/seen one that (if upright) is nearing 7 ft (especially when it's 3 ft up, 4 ft around-ish over-ish out) with two sets of fronds, one at the 3 ft mark, you know what I mean. That's the other one, the one Dad has had since college and is currently living in the kitchen. It gets fed a fallen ice cube occasionally, or when someone remembers to water it (usually Mom). Mine is much smaller, still a baby Dr. Seuss plant/Dragon Tree, and is currently in a wide glass from Ikea, same as the plant itself. I want to get an Epipremnum plant - a Pothos vine, merely because I was told the word 'pothos' was an accurate adjective for me and I'm amused at the accuracy of the label of the plant to the description.

Finals Week Babbles

2009-04-29T04:19:00.008-05:00

I am not an English major.
I am not a Scientist.
I do math and programming and knit and sing and woodwork and organize.

My words do not always help me out, and I do NOT want to doubt everything around me. I purposely am as honest as I can be. Don't make me doubt my own judgment by playing games with me. I don't appreciate it. And you wonder why I read so far into things... Because I have to find out if that person is "just messing with" me or if they are really affected by what I've done.

If you're going to confront me, confront me. Don't just keep moving past me. Your words just slide off as you slide around me down the stairs. Oh wait, you were just playing.

No, I don't KNOW you as well as you do. And I don't understand why you have to make yourself such a puzzle and push us to figure you out, then get upset when we get close or attempt to check if we're right.
If I claim I know you, it's really an extremely educated guess. And when you're as well-learned as you portray yourself, it just means it's that easy for me to accurately guess correctly.

/**********************************************************************/

There are paper cuts on my knees. I've been doing homework & finals & studying on my bed. There's a scrape on my shoulder from where I stood up from bending over the sink and hit the corner of the open mirror cabinet. There is a small burn on my arm from where I accidentally touched the hot radiator.
And aside from all of the scars from growing up as mosquito-meat, there are the dry skin bumps and the bumps I picked so they're open sores now to eventually become scars... Aside from them, there are a few stray pen marks. I've been sitting on my bed doing paperwork. It's a wonder my bedding doesn't have as many ink marks on it. At least, as far as I've found. But I've been too tired to look.

/**********************************************************************/

I haven't changed, she said. I am still the person who is always there for her and anyone else.
That is the biggest compliment anyone can give me, because I have tried so hard and for so long to be that person. To be the one who is there when you just need someone. And to hear that that is something consistent about me? I have succeeded in making it an integral part of me. I have succeeded and I can take a compliment about that. I put effort into that and earned the praise.

/**********************************************************************/

Okay, dear, you need to wake up so I can go to sleep and you can have your shift at doing homework while I crash and recharge. An hour and a half... I hope it feels like six. My headache is coming back and the caffeinated soda I had to get rid of it isn't helping my stomach any.

conversation snippet

2009-04-27T16:30:00.002-05:00

"Where are all the good guys?" She asked.
"Taken, maybe?"
"Where are all the guys who really care, but who have a life and goals for themselves?" She clarified.

We've been sitting here stumped.

"What about that character? He cares, lets her be who she is, yet will grab a drink for the both of them even though they aren't dating. Where ARE all the good guys? Do they even exist?
"They hide it."
"So you need to be some special girl to get that out of them, huh?"

Learning to Ride Without Training Wheels

2009-04-19T03:40:00.003-05:00

Dad had initial bike training of me, my younger brother, and our little sister.
We had two 12"s(backpedal brakes),a girly 16"(backpedal brakes), then two 20"s (handbrakes & gears), as well as full safety equpiment (knee-, elbow-pads, wrist guards, and helmets. We hated the wrist guards and they were the first pieces "lost").

I distinctly remembering the training wheels of the girly 12" being raised about halfway, enough so only one could touch at a time. They didn't stay tight so after as much hard use as I gave them, riding on a gravel driveway, the bike leaned at such an angle when on a trainer I took them off because I thought they didn't matter. Besides, we'd moved and had a paved driveway and empty street now, and a bike that didn't have trainers was waiting after I grew 2" and didn't need trainers (the 16").
Mom found me in the grass next to the sidewalk with scrapes on the back of my legs from putting my feet down to stop and the pedals attacking me. Then she gave me band-aids and told me horror stories about riding in sandals (because I had been wearing them-the chain can grab and rip off your toes, you know.) I don't know how many boxes of band-aids went towards covering knee and elbow scrapes from biking....

I remember putting my brother's trainers back on his silver & green 12" after the bike was ignored when Dad took them off; I really wanted someone to ride with me so I put them back on myself so he would come along. He rode with them on, and couldn't keep up; the other kids in the neighborhood kept making fun of him, so he had me help him take them off a few weeks later.

My sister never took the trainers off, just moved up to the next bike when she got too tall for the 12" with trainers (found and replaced from when I took them off). She
was the one who was sent downhill on a sidewalk. Dad let her go when she got too fast for him to keep up (he's not the most athletic...), which was right when she picked up the most speed, and didn't know how to use the back-pedal brakes. Down she fell, skinned a knee and an elbow, and still yells at him for letting her fall whenever she needs to poke at him. She tends to ride her scooter more than her bike (someone told my parents about the balance thing), but she could ride it until she got too big for it.

My brother and I used our bikes like the older kids used their cars - we know the roads in town better than anyone else because we'd get ourselves lost and find out way out of the interconnected subdivisions.
I need a new bike.. I can't ride mine anymore- strains my neck and shoulders to do so.

Originally Posted : Here

For people

2009-04-17T01:07:00.005-05:00

You, my friends, are just as much a mess as I am.
We are judgmental, over-analyzing teenagers who think we can pretend to be grown-ups. Sometimes we manage pretty well, sometimes we become immature and petty and really need to look in the mirror to be sure we aren't 10 years old again, playing the telephone gossip of 5th grade.
That was when our classmates, if not ourselves, believed the other sex had cooties.
That was also 10 years ago, almost half our lifetimes. w00t for turning 20.

I want to say to you, because sometimes you need to hear it and take it to heart, "Grow UP. Stop acting half your age. Or your shoe size."
Then I turn to myself: "Hypocrite."

Hey, I can be 7 1/2 on the swings at the playground. And 10 in the theatre or conversation. But the 19 year old better come out when the homework does or relationships hang in the balance. And I think the same should go for your situations.

But what I think should mean nothing to you. You are 19 and in control of your life, as I am mine. No longer a minor, yet still can't legally drink, so we should be making some of the best-informed decisions. ...Ideally...

Smocking Attempt I

2009-04-16T13:35:00.006-05:00

Yay MarieGraceDesigns! Her new pleating and smocking tutorials were a lot of fun to follow along with. Made the entire process easy.
Pleating
Smocking

I added some smocking to the back of one of my paint shirts - they're generic tshirts that I feel I can mess around with, since they just get dirty and in this case, stitched.

It's definitely loose, but I really like the effect. (Accidents that work out well are always a plus.) The big thing is, now I know I can do it, and will probably get more creative with it over the summer.
Thanks MG!

Java Skirt - update II

2009-04-16T11:16:00.004-05:00

Waistband & 4 repeats done

And again. My M1s have become kfb because I realized how much fun the kfb was and that it doesn't leave a hole. Always important in clothes.

The programming Strings are being edited for clarity as I work with the sticks and string.(Ba-doom chh... >.< Nerd.)

I love being a knitter. No matter if I'm working on it or not, just carrying a work in progress around campus makes people feel like they can talk to me. Usually, "You're really knitting?" followed by "What are you making?" One of my teachers asked me "Are you really knitting for yourself? Do people even do that anymore?" I just said "Yep," but wanted to add "Um, I'm doing it in front of you, right now. Yes, people do." >.<

And Carol made the best sandwich ever while I showed her my 4 finished inches of skirt and explained that "Yeah, I'm a nerd and wrote a computer program that wrote the knitting pattern so now I have to test it."

Yeah. I'm a nerd.

Therapy vs. Control

2009-04-06T21:57:00.005-05:00

Halo is good for the same sort of therapeutic, non-thinking, busy-handedness that knitting is, or reading a book (or as recently, blogs). The only problem with the book reading is it only takes one hand so the other's nails get bitten... Now I need to take the calm that follows an hour or so of video gaming and be able to keep it as I return to my room so I can use that 'zone' of thinking and apply it to my homework. Algebra works really well for keeping that calm. It's all process and substitution into formulas. It works, or it doesn't, and you figure out where you went wrong and then it works or it isn't supposed to. It's cathartic.
_______________________________

I'm a control freak. I have to have everything just-so, and get OCD about fixing things. (Especially cords. Tangled electrical cords HAVE to have my order imposed upon their chaos.) Like in group situations, when someone has to do something, and no one moves, I've been taught to get impatient and step up and delegate. Take control. No one else will, because I will, because they know I will, because I know they won't.
Of course, it has been brought to my attention that I tend to take this attitude towards individual relationships as well as the group situations.

You'd think I could take control of myself, being that needful of command. Myself is the only thing I have any right to control.

Java Skirt - update

2009-04-05T02:19:00.008-05:00

Und jetzt beginnt:
The skirt from the Java program (Dun dun dunnnn...)

Now is the test run to see if my java program and mental logic can transpose nicely into an actual knitted result.
4 1/2 rows + 8 sts into the project (apologies for crummy webcam pics):

*Note this is further than the Eventually Rug ever made it. Perhaps I should rename the Eventually Rug to the Never Rug... Who knows, I might get around to doing it with the next cone of Lion Brand Kitchen Cotton, as this cone is becoming my skirt.

My goal is to finish the waistband and start on the increases by the end of spring semester - 2 May 2009. Seeing as a week in I've gotten 4 rows of ribbing, I don't think that will be to much a challenge. I'm just afraid to say I'll finish the entire first section by then; I'm pretty sure I won't make it. Still, 4 weeks at 5 rows/wk (because I'll finish this row before I go to sleep) = 20 rows. 20 - 8 rows (waistband) = 16 rows of skirt / 4 rows per repeat = 4 repeats = 4 increase rows. And at 8 rows/inch, I'll have 1" waistband & 2" skirt by the interim. Then I'll have 2 weeks at home to get in some mad knitting before I come back to school for summer session, and will have plenty of time to knit when I'm bored on campus in between work, class, and homework. Oh, and rock wall climbing.
Ideally, I will take in progress pics as I go to post. I'm sort of nervous to see what happens and if it works. Not sure what I'll do with it if it isn't the right size // doesn't work. Logically, it should be fine. Actually, and based on my knitting prowess, I worry. Oh, I hope it works!!

chess

2009-03-29T21:52:00.003-05:00

In the chess game of life, when kings are hearts, sometimes it is the rook that's the main player, stability, or the queen, female wiles, or the bishop, morals, or the knight, male dominance.
But there are always pawns. The little flirting games, the hurts, the heals, the friends. The tiny inanities life makes you deal with that help sometimes- they provide a lovely barricade against the opponents pawns, get in the way of their bigger pieces. But of course they can end up in your own way, restricting your own movements unless you sacrifice them. If you can get one across and switch it for a larger piece you lost early on, fine.

Just stop playing me as a pawn, take a moment to rig it so you can move me to the next space and switch me out for the bishop you lost a long time ago. Or the rook or queen or knight, whatever it was. One space at a time, ever forward, won't help on the far side of the board. I'm past that.

Java Skirt

2009-03-29T18:21:00.003-05:00

Creative nerdiness mixed with obsession and a knitter with ability to program...
I wrote a java program to do the math (for increases) in making a knitted skirt that should look like a prairie skirt.

The program makes sense and the directions should be easy to follow; the test to actually make it and see if the logic follows the genius fairly well.

The One-Minute Writer: Today's Writing Prompt: Creative

I can't wait to have time to actually make it and see if I did it right :)!!!
Yeah, I'm using the yarn that was going toward the Eventually rug... I didn't feel like waiting for possibly forever to finish it.

2009-03-27T19:43:00.004-05:00

I have to change. I have to grow up. I knew it was coming, but not what it entailed. Can't even express all that has happened, because as soon as I think what I'd say, I realize "You're blowing it out of proportion again." Part of me says, "Too bad," Part of me says, "Oh shit, not again."
"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself..." (Hermann Hesse) I complain about what people do, then have to eat my own words. I'm such a hypocrite.
"It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not." (Andre Gide) I'm not sure if I agree or want to argue it more.

Well, something's gotta give. I just don't know what.

I'm TIRED of it all.

2009-03-24T00:37:00.006-05:00

I am tired of being held back.
Of not being encouraged to try new things or to do other things.
Of never being told "Go for it! Here, I'll give you this to get you started!" or "Try doing this!" or "I'll help if you need it."
At least they rarely said "No."

Instead, I was told:
"Here, you can have a bigger part, as long as we can use you as a dancer too. We just won't put your name in both parts because it isn't fair to mention certain people more than anyone else."
Even if I did more work and deserve more credit for it?
And the next year, "You're one of the smallest characters, and banished to the back of the house to dance your number, just so you can be the cheat-sheet for the rest of the dancers in your number. No extra credit, of course."
So what of the fact that without me, the past few shows would never have been done?

Thank you, Honor Thespian, for finally giving some of the much missed credit where it was due.
Okay, so maybe I overestimate my ability & worth a little...

---

Or even the other night:
I wanted to play. I wanted to use my knowledge and ability and play! But I cannot play when you're standing in my way.
I also cannot get under the ball well when you don't help. I do need the ball sent to me so I can set it for you to hit. You hit, you score, your point. Our point. Doesn't matter I gave you an almost-perfect set; you got the hit & we got the point for US. As long as you work with me, I can work with you, and we can get points and we can play well. WE can do it. If you let me work -with- you.

But really? I'm TIRED of it. You want to be the star? FINE. Help me make you a star. Just say my name. Work with me and we'll both get credit for it. If you don't want to share that spotlight, tell me how to turn it on and I'll try to follow you with it, as long as you don't move too fast. But really, soloist, don't play a team sport.

You know what? I WANT A TURN. I can do it. Let me do it. Let me show you what I can do. Don't get in my way; don't try to hinder me. You'll get run over, and I don't want to do that. I WANT TO BE NEEDED. I want to be a key part of the team. I want to be needed. "We couldn't've done it without you, me, him, her, her, & him."
Come see me play my sport. Watch me be bold, aggressive. Watch me play, and play hard, and give everything I have, because then maybe you'll see what I mean when I say "I know what I'm doing." Because if I say I know, then goddamnit, I KNOW what the hell I'm doing.
Don't you doubt me.

Why the hell don't you believe me?
Because for so long no one else has?
Because no one else says I can do it?

----

And then someone finally said to me, "You can do it."
"I'll help if you need it."
"Use this."
"Let's get you started."

And I was shocked.
And I knew I loved them because they really cared and believed in me, even from the start. I can't help but care for them because they believe. They have faith in me. They did when no one else did. When I didn't have any faith in myself.

----

Then you stopped supporting me. Stopped saying I could do it. Did you lose faith in me? Did you forget I need encouragement? Did you stop seeing things I could do? If I am no longer capable, help me to be that again. But I really miss being encouraged. I really liked having that and you took it away... !
My own faith in myself is gone because I was only encouraged by myself. No one else cared; why should I? All of a sudden to have someone who cared and believed I could do it---

and you stopped.

Why did you stop?
Why was I worth supporting and encouraging before? Why not now?
What am I supposed to think?

What did I do wrong?!?

fail

2009-03-11T17:17:00.003-05:00

So I managed to get through the rest of Friday night, and almost all of Saturday without responding to any of A's texts & voicemail. J kept saying "Even if you aren't going to talk to any of the others, at least talk to A." So I finally texted back about working on sets with my cousin. She commented her worry over me not talking to her all Saturday. "I almost made it. it's 5 til 12" {midnight}

She's the only one to tried to check on me. I called L, but she wasn't involved on Friday so I'm not counting it. No one else tried any contact. No facebook message, note, text, phone call, email, chatroom, IM, nothing.

They just all assume that A will take care of me. And when A's the one in a mess, that I will take care of her. Um, a little help here? We're sick and tired of everyone else relying on us to take care of each other. Because no one will.

Spring Break

2009-03-07T00:25:00.003-06:00

I am home, like house-home, and not going to update my Facebook status. I am not going to answer phone calls or text messages or emails or any other communication from my group at school because I need to separate myself from them and this is my chance.
I didn't even say "Bye! Enjoy your break!" because none of them came up to my room to find me while I finished packing up. I'm tired of going to find them, only to be told "homework" or "lab" or "class" or "it'll hafta be quick" and be disappointed because my only free time is not theirs. So I didn't go find them to bid them farewell. I tried. I really tried to not need to. But it hurt too much. I satisfied myself (and my ocd?) by taking a walk past everyone's rooms and brushing my fingers along the door as I went, checking the shields and saying a silent "Goodbye" without having to face them.

I just wish that some of my high school people were on break this week too. I could really use a dose of them to balance out this cold-turkey quitting of communication with my college group. Besides, they'll help center me some. As it is, guess who I get to IM then- my high school people. I really need more of them... stupid going to school across the country from each other ness.

I figured, none of my college people mention this blog at all. They probably don't check it, or even know it exists. And if they do, well, I just hope that I can understand their not-contacting-me as part of my will, on my request, and not as a sign that they don't care about me...

The Eventually Rug - It'll get done sooner or later...

2009-02-08T00:49:00.005-06:00

Haven't finished re-casting on my eventually-rug. Probably got distracted by the assignment I needed to read, followed by the class it was for, then the rest of life... 2 others knit in the same class I do. Occasionally we speak, but we're all at very different skill levels and interests in our work (one's got a sweater almost done, I've (sort of) got my rug, and the other is enjoying her scarves).
I -know- I got distracted from it because I was making the tail for A's phone again. This time in a 4 st I-cord instead of the original little 5 st belt (that curled itself into what was basically a not-connected I-cord). This time, said tail is now knit/laced onto said phone, in a sort of how-you-lace-up-your-shoes manner, as opposed to just being tied on with the tails of the knitting, ending in a jaunty, colorful bow. Both versions made in Lion Brand Ribbon of a bright rainbow pattern. Fun stuff to play with, but it does like to slide and doesn't really stretch. The color patterns made in each new row of stitches amuses me: sometimes they're all the same color, sometimes each is a different color.

New project for Valentine's Day: requires construction paper, compass, scissors, pens, and tape. Of course, half will require stamps & envelopes instead of tape... And Valentine's is a Friday, so anyone who goes home for the weekend won't get theirs until they get back Sunday tehehe... Then it becomes a matter of how long will they stay up :).

New show: DUPAC's Black Box Experiment: Women and the Body Appearances & The Most Massive Woman Wins
Rehearsals started Friday, show is March 20, 21 at 7:30pm, in the Martin Recital Hall.
Rehearsal means I have more time to not spend in my room or anyone else's, for that matter, but hopefully it will be some in which I may knit or do homework or multitask something else instead. Hopefully. Typically, the first couple of weeks are a little busy, what with blocking and all, but after being blocked and before the actors get off-book is a bit of time when I can multitask at rehearsals. Once they're off-book, I have to be on-book for them and then we start adding sound and lights. Not to mention I have to do props for this with V. We'll get started on that in the next few rehearsals.

The Governer:[To the Manservant] "But why are YOU here?"
Cervantes' Manservant: "Somebody has to stage-manage the stage."
-The Man of La Mancha

Riiiippit

2009-01-28T09:45:00.005-06:00

Hmph. I mislaid my herringbone pattern, so I guessed at the next row on the rug. Never EVER again. I did not do the next row in the pattern, I discovered, but the one after it instead, and ended up frogging the entire thing (at that point 6 rows x 218 sts). The one wrong row wasn't the only mistake, so I went all the way back - plus I didn't feel like trying to pick up an entire row after pulling out 2 or 3 - and now I have to count out/cast on all 218 sts again. And that takes forever. And I still have reading to do for the class I usually knit through. Let me finish re-casting on and then I'll read. I've already read a chunk of it anyways...

project update

2009-01-16T10:00:00.005-06:00

Finally finished all of the doorknob hangers for everyone else. I refuse to make one for myself, I am so sick of making them.
The teal chenille (technically, 'marine') merged with the same in a purply-slightly orchid color at the halfway mark in my scarf. I used needles a size too small, so it's really dense and really really warm. Good thing considering the -14 degrees it is right now. I have some of the same in navy to make into an earband, when I decide what pattern to use.

I saw a cone of Lion Kitchen Cotton in a green/white mix and tried to figure out what to make with it because it was cool. Decided on a small rug, doormat/sink sized (about 3' x 2')and got a circular needle to accomodate all 218 sts that make up the long size of the rug. I'm using the rather dense Woven Transverse Herringbone pattern that I found online, and am excited because it's a really boring, easy stitch pattern, meaning I can do it without paying much attention. This means I have a project to work on in classes.

L's delayed present is going to be a bath poof that won't go *poof* and explode like the plastic ones like to do, so I'm using a waffle st in -what else?- purple Red Heart and will make essentially a belt that will get scrunched and sewn into a poof that I'll be damned if it won't stay that way. I'm no boy scout or sailor, but I can do knots. I got the waffle st idea from a 'soap sack' pattern in a magazine; I like my soap sack. Means I don't have to keep track of my washcloth.

When I get the chance I need to make another tail for A's phone. The first one wore out and broke off. Maybe I should double the ribbon yarn for it this time since last time failed... but after an entire year. Not too shabby. She just keeps losing her phone now... Maybe I should start on that. It won't take too long.

-

A and I are working on another project involving empty pill bottles, a strand of white lights, an etcher, a hand drill, and her grandpa's homemade mini coping saw. We shall see what comes of it.

Now, to class!

Second Semester

2009-01-16T09:40:00.003-06:00

School's back in session!
Actually, I'm just happy to be back because I am back home now; yes, the school dorm, ('scuse me, Res Hall) is home. I'm back home, I have a new schedule that is really really different from the past three semesters, and my best friends missed me. My brother will be missing me again since I'm not at the house anymore, but I'll be extending the invitation for him to come spend the weekend here or whenever he needs to get away from home.
New school semester, new calendar year, new knitting projects, new books to read.
Time to get back to work!

Project & Mental Update II

2008-11-04T23:50:00.003-06:00

Bi-Color Initialed Doorknob Hangers
Project, status, & colors:

VW - half done [Purple / Pink]
KR - DONE [Blue / White]
AG - DONE [Yellow / White]
LS - DONE [Blue / Purple]
GM - DONE [Dark Blue / Light blue]
SC - DONE [White / Pink]
DS - DONE [Orange / Purple]
RF - DONE [Green / Orange]

I've taken documentary pictures of all of them but SC's and the finals from VW's (since that one's still on the needles). I used some of the images from KR's and GM's for credit in my color photography class and am pretty proud of some of them. I'll post them after I get small enough image files from the scanned & Photoshopped images (or I could just be lazy and post the unedited versions...but the colors are all funny in the prints. Stupid developer).

My photography teacher did really enjoy the thought I put behind my images of the words of Dominican University's motto: "Caritas et Veritas," Truth and Compassion. A third image showed the top of a garden arbor dividing the two words, symbolizing the disconnect between the two concepts. I took her comment about the concept of the disconnect, yet combination of the two and ran with it; I have three notebook pages of ideas of how to visually convey the differences and combinations of the two perceptions of the world that basically condense into the Head and Heart. I am still looking for more ideas of how to juxtapose/mix Rationality and Emotion in a still image, so please feel free to comment with ideas.

Project & Mental Update

2008-10-15T22:56:00.007-05:00

Bi-Color Initialed Doorknob Hangers
Project, status, & colors:

VW - nsy [Purple / Pink]
KR - DONE [Blue / White]
AG - DONE [Yellow / White]
LS - DONE [Blue / Purple]
GM -DONE [Dark Blue / Light blue]
SC - DONE [White / Pink]
RF - DONE [Green / Orange]
DS - DONE [Orange / Purple]

I found Craftzine's archives and have stashed away a bunch of patterns and ideas for more crafty things for when I have time to do them. I would like to finally finish all of these blasted doorknob hangers, but I'm so sick of using Red Heart Super Saver on size 7 needles and needing to frog every few stitches to fix one that I did in the wrong color or forgot to twist the carrying strand to keep it all tied in... I want something simple that will look complicated and only uses one color! I have a skein of Lion Brand Chenille in a loverly teal/turquoisey color that I bought to purely use on something for myself. So far, I've made myself very little, and have given away most of anything else I've made. Which reminds me, I need to get it all back for an afternoon to take pictures of them so I can post for all to see. Once I find a digital camera to borrow (since I have a card reader built into my laptop but no scanner for prints).
Everyone keeps telling me "Do something for yourself. Take some time for yourself." K, so give me time and I'll find something to do, but it most likely will be for someone else. That's just how I am. If I'm not actually doing something for anyone, I'm plotting for someone. What do you want me to do? Whenever I spend time on myself, I end up in tears because of how useless I see myself, of what I can't do. So I do as much as I can. What do you want me to do?

The campus Wellness Center did Depression Screenings today... their little survey told them I had a lot going on (well, duh), was really anxious about it (no way...) and suggested that I talk to someone to see if I should go beyond preliminary screenings. I've done the preliminary screenings on myself, I'm a PSYCHOLOGY MINOR, thank you very much. I happen to KNOW about Depression and am even working on "Erasing the Distance- The People I Know" by Dominican and Cheryl's Dreaming Big- cherylsdreamingbig.org
I think I knew I needed to talk to someone. But I still don't quite know how to go about doing so. Especially since I don't know where to start.

update

2008-10-10T13:17:00.004-05:00

So I've been rather remiss in updating here, DA, poetrypoem.com, pretty much anywhere that I can update.
Except Facebook. Stole my soul, I tell you. I've lost it to those cursed BumperStickers and MobWars applications. Especially since tennis is done and I have 2 extra hours a day that was spent in practice and is now free time that I don't know what to do with it.

I'm going home tonight for the Sr Football game my brother is marching for (it's my last chance to see the field show and therefore should be the best. They're doing 007: James Bond theme, some ballad, and "Live and Let Die" which will be pretty awesome). I'll come back in time for A's volleyball match tomorrow afternoon. Yay for free laundry, kicking my sister out of my bed, having to give my brother my heating pad, good food for dinner -and lunch-, having to drag mom to the van to bring me back home-I mean, to school, restocking groceries, and dishwashered water bottles. (especially after tennis season!)

I'm trying to get further in my knitting, and being busy doesn't help that.
Gotta run!

Busy at School

2008-09-13T21:03:00.005-05:00

Okay, so it's been a lovely long month since I last updated. I've been ridiculously busy with tennis, move-in, Chris leaving, and classes. My knitting has suffered because I don't have a bag to carry to class or any time outside of class. Not to mention how tired I am. I'm also doing a lot of venting, blogging, stream-of-consciousness writing in my journal because I can't call Chris. Figured it was time for a little update of something...

Project, status, & colors by deadline:

VW - nsy /Aug 17 [Purple / Pink]
AG - almost /Aug 17 [Yellow / White]
LS - almost /Aug 24 [Blue / Purple]
GM - DONE /Aug 17 [Dark Blue / Light blue]
SC - DONE /Aug 17 [White / Pink]
RF - DONE /Aug 24 [Green / Orange]
DS - DONE /Aug 24 [Orange / Purple]
LP- cancelled because of spec. circumstances
SA - cancelled...
CR- cancelled...
GK- cancelled...

End of Summer

2008-08-13T01:04:00.003-05:00

WORK
I turned in my uniform from the movie theatre. Ha! Done.
I have my second to last day tomorrow morning at the store (8am-noon) doing markdowns, then friday night 530-930 and then I'm done there.

KNITTING
I'm not much further... I got bored. I have 3 projects going on, and I got bored. Then again, I'm really only working on the bi-color project, and I'm less than halfway done with 3 days left. Go figure. I got mostly done with part 4, and set it aside to start the next one. Now I'm at about the same point with 5, and going to have to do the two at once for the next bit, except they call for the same ball of yarn and I don't have two. I could use both ends of the skein... that might make it go a little faster.. That might amuse me enough to finish them. But then I have to have enough patience to do the next few...

Project, status, & colors by deadline:

GK- not started yet /Aug 16 or Sept 10 [Blue with Yellow]
GM - DONE /Aug 17 [Dark Blue / Light blue]
SC - almost /Aug 17 [White / Pink]
AG - almost /Aug 17 [Yellow / White]
VW - nsy /Aug 17 [Purple / Pink]
LS - nsy /Aug 24 [Blue / Purple]
RF - DONE /Aug 24 [Green / Orange]
DS - DONE /Aug 24 [Orange / Purple]
LP- nsy /mid Sept [Red / White]
SA - nsy /Oct 4 [White / Red]
CR- nsy /Nov 18 [Red / White]

Insomnia's Babbled Updates

2008-07-25T02:58:00.004-05:00

WORK
I have until Thursday to submit my 2 weeks resignation at the movie theatre. 2 weeks from Thursday I move back to school; however much I earned, I won't be going back to work there next summer. Like Ed said, We work just enough to not be fired, and they pay us just enough not to quit.
I'm not sure about the store. I really like working there, but I can't ever get enough hours.
I asked at another retail-ish location about working there for Christmas and Summer, and am awaiting their answer.
READING
Robert Jordan has been occupying my mind, as the BIP list has shown. I flew through Book 7 today (I forgot how short it was --in comparison-- and how much important stuff has happened). I'm hoping that I can finish rereading all of them before I go back to school. That gives me about 20 days that I can read Books 8-11. Wait, there's only 11? I could've sworn there were 13 or so... Okay, so 12 with the New Spring prequel... Still.. 3 books and just as many weeks? I'll be done, easy. However, my knitting suffers when I'm trying to read. At least these books stay open by themselves once you get past the Prologue and first 3 chapters (or 100 pages, whichever comes first! :P)
KNITTING
The colors are working so far (of course, they are the same yarn) but I haven't tried working with the fun stuff and the Red Heart just yet. I did post the colors for everyone's projects on their Facebook walls, partly to amuse myself at their confusion, partly to make it so I have to do everyone's--no shirking for me. Like I said, reading while knitting ends up with funky patterns that weren't exactly supposed to be that way... but the hardest part about knitting while reading is remembering to turn and start the next row. Knitting makes me slow down in my reading a lot, and I'm remembering a lot more of what I read because I'm not flying through it or inhaling the story like dinner during Hell Week of Band Camp.
SCHOOL
Classes start 26 August. Preseason practices: 19 Aug. Athlete Move in Weekend: 15-18 Aug. (Tennis: 17 Aug, Sunday 11am-1pm) Everyone else Move in: 24 Aug.
23 days until move in, 25 until preseason, 30 until everyone else moves in and I HAVE to have my color projects finished. I'm going to be out of Robert Jordans to read by then... Maybe I'll actually focus on the knitting then. O:-) >_<

... So happy together..

2008-07-20T02:23:00.003-05:00

"I can see me lovin' nobody but you, for all my life..." just popped into my head and won't go away now until I get out my ipod when I go to sleep.
MICHIGAN-WISCONSIN
The trip was a lot of fun; I got to see my cousins who only visit once every two years (aka not often enough) and made a new friend. All 27 of us dealt with water colder than the ice water in the coolers, flies that swarmed bare legs & ankles, and giant mosquitos that attacked through denim ("YES! Fresh Meat!") while we swatted in vain. I did get a lovely handful of rocks from the beach, and Mom got enough to make stepping stones for the garden.
KNITTING
Grandma started me on a sock, technically "Lace Anklet" by Chrissy Gardiner. The pattern says it's an intermediate (3 of 4), and uses Cascade Fixation (1.76oz/50g, 100yds/91m, 98.3% cotton, 1.7% elastic) in a light sky/baby blue. This yarn is REALLY stretchy for me, especially since I usually only work with Red Heart. I'm also working the sock in Continental, which seems to be stretching the yarn tight and making it difficult for myself. Usually my English knitting is tighter than my Continental... These tiny dpns (on the sock and my navy crochet thread project) are really tedious to work with. I keep going back to my color project because they seem to knit up really quickly after the infinitisimal progress on the little dpns. (Probably because there is only 46 rows of 18/19 stitches, then 30 of 5 sts on each one. The most tedious part of the color project is weaving in the ends. It's kind of nice to have the color changes, but there aren't any fun//complicated stitches, the whole thing is st st with a garter border of 2 st on each side and 3 rows top and bottom. Rather boring in Red Heart, actually, that's why they're such short projects. And that's way more information than I should give right now, since I know at least one of the recipients will see this.)
READING
I told my aforementioned new friend about The Wheel of Time series, since she asked while I was starting Book 6, and was told to read the Left Behind series. Maybe after I finish all these Robert Jordans... I'll bet by then school will have started though. With tennis and theatre and homework and classes and work and needing sleep... I love DU.
SCHOOL
I can't wait! (Note the countdown in the sidebar) I finally get my very own room. Of course, I have to furnish it, since I got an empty room, but that makes it all the more exciting. Sophomore year, working in the Scene Shop, hopefully not just exhibition in tennis, hopefully the new voice teacher will start the madrigal group. A lot of hopefuls. Well, we'll see what happens.
Dad's letting me use his old Minolta XG1 (manual) for my photography class. I got it to work, then he tried and it froze with the shutter open. *sigh*. Am I -not- supposed to take this class? I've been denied the opportunity until now, and now I have a broken camera. Again, hopefully it can be fixed before I have to go back to school.
BAGS
I still need to find some bags to work for many different things.
So far, the gift bag is working for my color project, since it holds 2 skeins of Red Heart perfectly, with just enough space for what's on the needles, my makeup pouch of writing utensils, crochet hooks, tapestry needles, and other notions, and the pattern to stand up along the side.
Grandma's small project bag has the 2 pairs of needles I borrowed from her earlier, the ball of Cascade & dpns that I'm using, an almost full ball of multicolored blues Cascade, a new ball of the same in reds, and the remains of a second ball of the blue, as well as my ball of navy crochet thread & dpns, and the patterns & papers for both sock and navy projects. I don't like the length of the handles (too long for handles, too short for straps/shoulder) or the zipper, but it fits 2 pair of 14" needles without them going through the seam AND 2 (partially used) skeins, a Walkman, Grandma's notions, the 2 1/2 extra balls of cascade, the sock patterns, and a few other odds and ends that needed to be packed inside. All of that fit, but it definately wasn't conducive to holding the skein while I knitted from it. Better for packing the unused than holding the working yarn, unless I've got space to pull out the working yarn when I'm actually working with it.
I still need a bag for my/Dad's camera, once it's fixed, to hold the camera, film, tripod, a few lenses and filters, and maybe a few other things.
And I'd still like a good messenger bag for running around school. I'm wondering if that one is still at Target...

Wanted: Bags

2008-07-10T23:39:00.005-05:00

We leave for Michigan (technically Wisconsin) Saturday morning. I have yet to even think about packing clothes, though I think I decided to bring the next two Wheel of Time books with me - beach reading - and I need to figure out what travel project I need to cast on tonight/tomorrow to take with me. I might start my color project, but I need to get me some graph paper to plan on and a bag to carry my project with me. Rargh, has that been a challenge! I still am not quite sure what I need in a knitting bag, therefore I haven't found it yet.
I did find a really nice messenger bag at Target last week - $16.99, soft microfiber(?) material, sturdy (knitting needles shouldn't poke through the seams), wide strap, a zipper-pocket-divider in the main pouch, but actually, there are too many pockets. The bag weighs a lot even when empty because of all the extra material. I never thought I'd say that something had too many pockets, especially how I am about putting random things in my own: "You never know when you'll need [this]." I persuaded myself that I didn't need the bag, that it was too heavy and I'd find one later. Besides, it might be on sale later. Or sold out, in which case is fine.

So I need something with enough pockets for me, my knitting, and anything else I find; preferably a messenger style bag, without zippers to catch the yarn on, and fairly lightweight, despite being big enough to hold a skein and 14" needles without being bulky, yet small enough to carry smaller projects without being too big. If it holds folders/binder/textbook as well as the knitting, that'd be great, seeing as I'm still a college student.

Speaking of bags, I need one for Dad's old Minolta XG1 35mm camera, the flash, and several extra lenses (one telephoto/zoom). My brother took the old bag for his "everything" satchel: Magic(R) cards, Gameboy, batteries, book, D&D dice, sketchbook, calculator.... Maybe I'll see what they have at the Wolf Camera / Ritz /whatever it's called now when I drop off the Minolta for repairs/cleaning. Poor thing had a layer of dust a half-inch thick.. hasn't been touched in, oh, twelve years? But I can't wait to have it working again. :)

K, P, W, T

2008-07-08T23:31:00.004-05:00

KNITTING
Domi's present is on hold while I try to figure out the best way to adjust the pattern/needle sizes/material to better match gauge, so I'm attempting the same pattern with a navy material instead. It's proving quite the task to work with, by the nature of the stuff, especially when paired with the tiny metal dpns.
PLOTTING
I have thought of a door dec project, but am not so fond to start on the Red Heart yarn *again* because I spent a lot of last school year working with it. Maybe if I get some shorter needles in the right size I'll have more patience for the SuperSaver skeins... I have to plan out the patterns anyways. I can work on planning the color pattern for those and the increases for my test project, which, by the way, has gotten nowhere further than the 3 rows of ribbing I did before going to bed the night of my project epiphany. Go figure. It's just really hard to knit while reading; they both require the use of hands. Maybe if I had a third hand to hold the pages open and to turn them while my other two knit...
WRITING & THINKING
A discussion arose this week in Writers' Guild on the difficulties of writing and how best to time the projects. Some of us in the group write all at once, pacing or sitting or daydreaming then writing it down. The best description we came up for the pacing was "Retail Syndrome;" one learns to think while walking, and therefore can only think while walking. Sort of why they tell insomniacs not to read in bed before trying to fall asleep... Other people in the group can write a little bit, think "Hey, that's great! Job well done for now!" and walk away from it for months at a time only to come back, add another small section and be happy with that for the next while.
The other "discovery" we made this week was that I think too much. I spent the car ride home turning the concept over in my mind, considering it from as many angles as I could, only to realize depressingly that they're right. (Hmm.. I wonder where they got that brilliant idea.) *sigh* I even think myself onto tangents when I'm writing, sometimes even as I'm writing. Next thing I know, what I started writing has gone the other way entirely. Or around in circles, as confusing thoughts are wont to do.
Are there any cures for thinking too much? Any attempts to escape, whether by reading or listening to music or knitting or writing don't seem to help very much. Reading just delays thinking, and adds fantasy elements to my thoughts, or matches characters to my real-life people. Music, podcasts, books on tape/disc just get tuned out as white noise behind the chatter of my mind. Knitting works somewhat to help organize the thoughts, until I drop a stitch out of inattention, and writing makes for tangents. Combining efforts only works for a little while, until the tangents of stray thoughts based upon my podcast makes me drop yet another stitch.
Well, there's exhibit A of why I don't ask for help... but I'll still leave the question there to be answered by another than myself.

St. Martha

2008-07-01T23:19:00.008-05:00

I am looking at my patron saint again. Martha is a name on both sides of my family, yet back several generations on both. It is very close to the name I selected for German class, Marin

St. Martha

2008-07-01T23:19:00.007-05:00

I am looking at my patron saint again, thanks to Lisa sharing a story of her patron's, Catherine of Alexandria.

Martha is a name on both sides of my family, yet back several generations on both. It is very close to the name I selected for German class, Marin, and both have ties to water.
Marin (MAH-rin) shortened form of "marina" (MAH-rin-ah), pronounced in english muh-REE-na, variation of "marine"... pretty much comes down to "water," or rather, "on or in the water."
Martha, my great-aunt, lives in Clearwater, FL, USA. And St. Martha bested a serpent, according to tradition. The Tarasque is supposed to be a dragon, or a half-animal, half-fish creature, seemingly serpentine. (Perhaps this is why I am rather fond of Anne McCaffrey, Naomi Novik, and Robert Jordan's novels.)

An easily read version of the story is here:
http://tentacle.net/~dawnhawk/witchcraft/chmyth1.html
With a more verbose (okay, "long-winded") version here:
http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/golden239.htm

Or a shorter version:

"Tarasque Legend

"A swampy area of the Rhone, roughly where Tarascon is now, was once called niger focus, or "heart of darkness". A later reference called it id est niger locus, or Nerluc. When the Romans arrived, they called the small collection of habitations here Ernaginum, probably from the habitants' ur-naga, reflecting the worship of a primeval serpent or dragon. A huge monster emerged from the sea and chose the river Rhone as its new home. The legend of this ancient creature, as described in 12th-century writings, was of a half-serpent half-lion monster from Gallicia, the ofspring of the ancient-world serpents Leviathan and Onacho. Tripod.com tells us it was a "dragoness, half land mammal, half fish. She outsized twelve elephants, had teeth like swords and a skin like iron. Her father was the water dragon Leviathan, her mother the giant snake Onachus, and her name was Tarasque". Wikipeda says the Tarasque was "a sort of dragon with six short legs like a bear's, an ox-like body covered with a turtle shell, and a scaly tail that ended in a scorpion's sting. It had a lion's head, horse's ears, and the face of a bitter old man". A variation says his head is that of a lion, yet with a horse's ears, but his face, with eyebrows and mustache, is that of a sad and bitter old man.
Whatever its actual appearance, the Tarasque terrorized the region in the best traditions of unfriendly dragons. She breathed flames, destroyed houses, frightened the animals and people like. The dragon destroyed the bridges and then devoured anyone who tried to cross. Local heros, including the King of Nerluc and knights, fought the Tarasque, and perished. Others tied animals along a trail into a deep swamp, near Avignon, with a reputation for being impossible to escape from. But the swamp belonged to the realm of the devil and the Tarasque was a creature of the devil. So when the Tarasque followed the trail of delicious animals into the swamp, it was warned in time to escape the trap.

Along Came Martha

Martha (Saint Martha of Bethany) was born sometime in the 1st century to a Syrian duke named Syro and his wife, Encharia of Magdalene, in Bethany, near Jerusalem. As a girl Martha lived with her brother, Lazarus and her sister, Mary Magdalene. Their friend Jesus was a frequent visitor in their home. Following the crucifixion of their friend, a group including the siblings Martha, Lazarus and Mary Magdalenem, along with Mary Jacobe, Mary Salome, St Maximinus and Cedonius, were cast adrift in a small boat without sails, oars or supplies. They eventually landed safely at Marseille where they split up and went their own ways. Martha of Bethany went either to Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer or Aix-en-Provence, and became a missionary, regarded for her gracious manner. Martha was in Nerluc one market day, to spread the word of her Christian God to the pagan people, where everyone was talking about the dragon. The townspeople challenged her to prove the strength of her religion by subduing the dragon. Martha set out, bare-foot, in her white dress, to find the dragon, with no other weapon than a jar of holy water, and with the whole
town following her. At the dragon's lair, Martha held up two sticks as a cross and stopped the dragon as if pierced by a sword. (It's also said she used hymns and prayers to charm the beast.) She sprinkled holy water on the dragon to quench its fire, then used his sharp tooth to cut off her braids and make a bridle to lead the now-tamed Tarasque back to town. The people, still terrified by the monster, attacked it and killed it with a shower of stones. Martha forgave the wretched towns people, and converted many of them to Christianity. One source has it that Martha's feat with the dragon caused the entire province to convert to Christianity. The citizens erected a new church in honor of Saint Martha and changed the name of the town from Nerluc to Tarascon. The Tarasque is now featured on the town's coat of arms. http://www.beyond.fr/villages/tarascon.html

I prefer how http://lucyandmick.blogspot.com/2006/06/bob-morgans-st-martha.html put it:
"Martha used the power of love to tame the beast that sleeps at her feet. Unlike St. George who slew the dragon, St. Martha knew the best way to change was from within."
At least this way she used love instead of the typical, traditional, Catholic method of holy water.

Randomly associated:

"Also, given that tarragon (Artemisia dracunculus sativa), or "estragon" in French, grows in the region where St. Martha lived in France, and given that the Latin botanical name for this herb means "little dragon," other ideas come to mind. Tarragon is the most powerful of the four herbs that make up "fines herbes" -- the Classic French mixture of equal parts of fresh chervil, chives, parsley and tarragon, chopped finely and added to dishes at the last minute... As an aside, chewing on tarragon leaves is a very ancient cure for toothache, and tarragon tea is said to help with sleep, menstrual cramps, and digestion.

Tarragon Tea
1 tsp. dried tarragon
1 tsp. dried peppermint
1 cup hot water
Steep tarragon and mint in water and cover for five minutes. Discard herbs and sip warm or slightly chilled, as needed. http://www.fisheaters.com/customstimeafterpentecost5a.html

And you know I'm rather fond of peppermint & its properties. :)

Lisa also mentioned the Tarascas is a creature in Dungeons & Dragons
RPG. It's supposed to be crazy hard to kill. (Lvl 20 Difficulty) Bahaha. And
Martha got it under control with holy water. How about that for a namesake!

I think I selected the right patron saint for myself, despite my possible departure from the Catholic faith. She did great things, that a lot of people will not remember her for because they do not know she did them, or because they have been distracted from her doings. Sounds familiar, as she was once distracted from the doings of Jesus, according to the Scripture [Luke 10: 38-40].
"In Martha we see ourselves -- worried and distracted by all we have to do in the world and forgetting to spend time with Jesus. It is, however, comforting to note that Jesus loved her just the same... But all we hear about Martha is the simple statement: "Martha served." She isn't in the spotlight, she doesn't do showy things, she doesn't receive spectacular miracles. She simply serves Jesus. " http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=79 Eventually, tradition pits her against Tarasque, and even then she does not do much in the way of "showy" or "spectacular." And yet, the result of her faith is just that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Prayer: "Saint Martha, pray for us that we might serve Jesus better. Help us to overcome our distractions and worries to listen to his words and be present to him this day. Amen."

Patronage: butlers, cooks, dietitians, domestic servants, homemakers, hotel-keepers/inn-keepers, housemaids, housewives, laundry workers, maids, manservants, servants, servers,
waiters/waitresses, single laywomen, travellers.
--Essentially, anyone who helps another by providing food, shelter, or a service.--

Representation: broom, keys, ladle (or, a dragon on a leash)

frogging

2008-07-01T00:31:00.003-05:00

I totally had to frog Domi's present because I *didn't* check my gauge and have to now go down 2 needle sizes. I came up with another idea for my little group at DU, and involves multiple colors and will be good practice for that.
Writers' Guild keeps killing my poetry... I am finding it difficult to write anything beyond vaguery. They like my phrases, but not my wholes. *sigh* I'll come up with something.
Finally got out to go play tennis today, didn't play that half bad either. Chris and I ended 3-4, at deuce, when the lights went out at the courts--Closing time. Is an okay spot to stop, excepting the fact that he's so much better than I that he started serving with his off-hand. Curses. -Guess that's how easy it is to play against me.- Well, we'll see how it is when you get back in two years, boy! After I've retaught Seth how to play, that is. *sigh*

WALL-E is a really cute movie. If you really don't get the point, it's a cautionary tale about taking care of the earth, as well as just a simple story about how love will continue despite great odds, and it gives the lesson that all it takes is for one character to see reality for that knowledge to spread, however accidentally. Let me know what you thought of the movie. :)

How I Learned

2008-06-28T00:20:00.004-05:00

Knitting has been a sporadic craft in my family. We have quilters, musicians, writers, beaded-jewelry makers, natural stone workers/jewelers, scrapbookers, found art sculpters, seamstresses, woodworkers, glass workers, painters, teachers, actors, and a future sound engineer. A lot of these categories overlap (our quilter/sewing matriarch is a teacher, paints Lake Michigan sunsets & makes beaded jewelry with her daughters, daughters-in-law, and grand-daughters) but none quite so much as me.

I have helped with basting quilts for my cousins and aunts, have pieced together pieces for pillows, wall-hangings, and other random things. I play several instruments: Dad taught me to read music & the notes on the piano (which I am self-taught beyond that), I have played Clarinet for 8 years, and mallets for 4, and I have sung in choirs for 10 years. Like Grandma's brother, I write poetry. With Grandma, Mom, and the Aunts & cousins, I make beaded jewelry & other things, such as the Beadie Buddy fad of 1997-1999, or as trim or decoration on the tiny purses Mom would help me make each year to match my prom or homecoming dress. My brother and I have tumbled stones in the machine/kit, but more often we collect stones from the Lake, the park, construction sites, even our backyard. I’ve done a little scrapbooking with my friends & prom pictures, but my friends do more scrapbooking for me than I for them... I think found art is one of the few areas I haven’t dabbled in yet. I made myself a skirt and assembled a pre-cut dress that thankfully was the right size; I’ve made a few things for Barbie, too. Along with helping in costuming for Theatre, I’ve worked in the Scene Shop and claim my credit to woodworking there. My glass work reaches only to working with a mold-cast resin that shatters like real glass, only a lot easier & safer. Real glass is sharp. I have painted walls solid colors or splattered them to look like brick, but I have yet to create my own canvas masterpiece by myself. Teaching just happens when you know something and someone else doesn’t, especially in this world where you can learn something new every day.* I have acted, in chorus and small lead roles, but am more comfortable backstage, hence the Tech/Design major. My brother is planning to major in Sound Engineering when he goes to college, because sound was the only aspect of theatre I did not touch in my time at our high school.

*I just taught my friend Lisa how to knit, she’s working on a scarf in Lion Brand Homespun, and the yarn is being very friendly to her by disguising any mishaps in her knitting. Though we’re still not sure how she went from 26 stitches to 28, to 25. I told her just stay at 26, give or take one, but if you end up three off you better fix it. I did show her how to k2tog to get back to 26 from the 28, and explained how a yo makes an extra stitch if you aren’t careful. She got about 2 ½” from CO in the hour or so we spent on the couch, each lost in our own projects & listening to her brother watch The Colbert Report, and was quite proud of herself. I have the feeling I’ll be back at school and will get the call “I ran out of yarn” and I’ll have to tell her over the phone how to start She wanted a really long warm scarf, so we got her 2 skeins of the Homespun (to go with a metal pair of 7” recommended size 10s) and we’ll see how that turns out. I keep telling her that if it comes apart easily, you’re doing it right. The thing with knitting is, ending up in knots means you did something wrong.

At any rate, my teacher Aunt taught all the girl cousins how to finger knit one night amidst Barbie-clothes-making the easy way (aka, no sewing), and we all promptly forgot how soon after. Eventually Grandma picked up knitting and decided to teach anyone who wanted to learn, so the Aunts, Mom, and I learned a little. Mom and I were the only ones to take what we started home with us, and both forgot rather quickly. I was the only one to eventually return to Grandma and ask “How do you start this again?” because I remembered how to knit stitch, but not cast on. She showed me how to cast-on, knit, and purl, and after a while of me playing around with them and the yellow yarn, to bind-off. She has recently finished a pair of ankle socks that are really pretty, a really soft purple and yellow blend of I’m not sure what.

So I have been making deck boxes for cards, drawstring bags for dice, scarves, and my current project, and I’ve been doing a lot of plotting about taking resale shop sweaters apart and using my newly-learned increase stitch (MI – pick up loop from below in between two stitches and knit/purl as if normal) to design my own garments (before ever using a pattern for a similar one.. maybe not the best idea...). We’ll see what happens.

Introduction - Starting - First Post - Welcome

2008-06-23T01:10:00.000-05:00

Knit & Write-- Things I should do, are relaxing and calming, but I need to make time for.

I've made up a few knitting patterns to avoid having to read them, so the goal is to post them here, once I've figured out what I've done & have a camera to post the results.

Maybe eventually I'll post my poems as well, but some of them are at ihnasarima.deviantart.com and accessible there.